Why are we here and where do we go after? Thinking about life and death is human.

At some point, we might feel lost – we don’t know how to live. How is this different from wanting to end our lives?

Not knowing how to live

I don’t know what to do with my life.

Many of us have these thoughts when we face a turning point. We could be going through change and making decisions – like leaving school, starting a new career or losing a family member.

We feel uncertain as life presents us with a blank slate. With no clear purpose, we are confused. This turns into what is commonly dubbed as an “existential crisis”. This period can feel highly distressing, as we continue to have unanswered questions.

What can we do when we don’t know how to live?

Explore our passions and continue our hobbies

Expand our horizons: Read widely and talk to people

Know and acknowledge our strengths

Accept that this is a period of uncertainty

Wanting to die

While we could consider feeling lost to be a normal part of life, it could turn dangerous. Without the plan and intention of ending our lives, the desire to die or no longer exist are considered passive suicide ideation. This signals that we have overwhelming emotions and pain, and we’re in desperate need of relief.

Passive suicide ideation is a warning sign. Likely, there are underlying issues that we need to address. These challenges don’t just fade away over time. In fact, they can lead to active plans for death. As such, it is best that we pay attention to our thoughts, and get the help that we need.

What can we do when we want to die?

Call the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767

Talk to someone

Consider therapy

Make a safety plan: Decide and write down what we will do to keep ourselves safe when we want to die.

Our existential crises may not be entirely bad – it hints at us to reassess what we’re going through. Perhaps some redirection and exploration can help us find meaning in our lives. But our alarm bells should ring when we find ourselves thinking of dying to relieve our pain. In this case, we can reach out to the available support around us – whether it’s talking to friends, family or professionals.