ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY
周泳伶临床心理诊所
clinical psychologists
Have you ever found yourself fixating on a small detail about your appearance, something no one else seems to notice?
These thoughts are normal and part of being human.
We all feel self-conscious at times. But when appearance worries become constant and distressing, it could be Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Learn how to recognise the signs and where to get help.
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Feeling like you're never doing enough at work? You're not alone.
High expectations, especially the ones we place on ourselves, can fuel anxiety, burnout, and a constant sense of falling short. While it’s natural to want to do well, unrelenting pressure can take a toll on your mental wellbeing. Here are five practical ways to manage high expectations at work and feel more grounded.
The gap between what we expect and what actually happens is often where disappointment lives. At work, this might show up when a task takes longer than you thought or when unexpected obstacles arise.
Instead of pushing yourself harder to meet the original plan, pause and reassess. You could reframe your mindset to: "I’m doing the best I can with what I have today," or "I’ll adjust my timeline based on what’s realistic now." This helps reduce pressure while still allowing you to stay productive.
Managing high expectations often means shifting your focus from outcomes to the process. When you fixate on a specific end goal, like landing a promotion or hitting a certain milestone, it’s easy to feel discouraged if things don’t go exactly as planned. Instead, try setting process-based goals that emphasise consistent effort and growth.
For example, rather than saying “I must get promoted this year,” you could say, “I’ll keep building my skills and take on meaningful challenges.” This approach makes success feel more within reach, because it’s based on actions you can control. By focusing on your own progress and celebrating small wins along the way, you reduce pressure and build a stronger sense of self-worth. Let the process be the goal and trust that results will follow in their own time.
Comparing yourself to colleagues or people on social media can easily raise the bar for what you think you should achieve, often leaving you feeling like you’re not doing enough. But what you’re seeing is usually a filtered version of reality: successes are highlighted, while struggles are left out. When you constantly measure your worth against someone else’s visible achievements, it can create unnecessary pressure and undermine your own sense of progress.
To manage this, try being mindful of your online habits. Take occasional breaks from social media, especially when you notice it affecting your mood. You can also mute or unfollow accounts that spark feelings of inadequacy. Instead, make space for voices that feel authentic and encouraging. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey looks different and just because it’s not posted doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable.
Coping ahead means preparing just enough to feel steady, without trying to control everything. It’s about making a simple, realistic plan—one that helps you feel ready without exhausting yourself in the process.
Instead of over-rehearsing before a big meeting, you might say to yourself: “I’ve reviewed the main points and thought through a few possible questions. That’s enough.” This balanced mindset helps reduce anxiety and builds trust in your ability to handle the unexpected. It’s not about being perfectly prepared, it’s about knowing you’ve done what you can, and that’s okay.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t go as planned. Radical acceptance means choosing to acknowledge reality as it is, without fighting against it. It doesn’t mean giving up, it means releasing the added stress that comes from trying to change things beyond our control.
For example, if you worked hard on a project but didn’t get the recognition you hoped for, it's okay to feel disappointed. At the same time, you can accept the outcome and focus on what you can do next, rather than getting stuck in frustration. Acceptance allows space to grieve, reset, and move forward (Try it out here: Achieving Acceptance – A 3-minute Guided Therapy).
Managing high expectations at work isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about creating space for compassion, flexibility, and mental clarity. By shifting your focus and embracing the present moment, you can show up at work more grounded and less overwhelmed. However, if you're struggling to manage your stress or burnout, don’t be afraid to seek help! Speaking with a psychologist can be helpful as they can help you explore these tools more deeply and tailor them to your situation. Remember, you are not alone!
A frightening disease and a painful reality for the one who is diagnosed and family who needs to care for them.
Alzheimer’s Disease, as often portrayed in books and shows, usually begins with subtle memory lapses, increased confusion, and changes in mood and personality. As the disease progresses, disorientation and fear can grow. The loss of precious memories — the ones that stitch our lives together, shape who we are, and connect us to those we love — is a painful reality for those living with Alzheimer’s. They must confront this reality daily, and perhaps the most heart-wrenching question is:
It’s a frightening disease. It affects memory, thinking, behaviour, and the ability to carry out everyday tasks. Though often used interchangeably with ‘dementia,’ Alzheimer’s is specifically a progressive brain disorder that gradually makes independent daily life more challenging. Understanding what Alzheimer’s is helps us recognise why these early changes in memory, thinking, and behaviour are so important to notice.
Alzheimer’s usually creeps in quietly, so the early signs can be easy to miss. Some things to look out for include:
Forgetting recent conversations or events
Struggling with everyday planning or problem-solving
Feeling confused even in familiar places
Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps
Withdrawing from social activities
Changes in mood and personality
Noticing the early signs is just the first step. Visiting a polyclinic or GP for an initial assessment can help ease some of the confusion, constant guessing, and worry that often come with uncertainty. From there, you can begin receiving guidance, support, and answers. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Support often comes from a multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals, including doctors, psychologists, occupational therapists, and social workers. The type of support may change over time, but the goal remains the same: to ensure that every step of the journey is guided with understanding, compassion, and care.
As psychologists, we’re here to walk alongside you and your loved ones at every stage of Alzheimer’s. We help you make sense of memory changes and cognitive challenges. We also support assessment and diagnosis, so you can better understand what is happening.
As the disease progresses, we offer psychological support, practical strategies to manage daily challenges, and guidance for caregivers on how to maintain emotional connection and understanding. We want to help you and your loved ones feel supported, empowered, and able to focus on meaningful moments together.
Small, simple strategies can make a big difference for both those living with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. Some ideas include:
Keep a consistent routine. Simple schedules help reduce confusion and give the individual a sense of security and grounding.
Label and organise spaces. Clear labels on doors, drawers, or cupboards make it easier to find things and maintain independence.
Use memory tools. Calendars, notebooks, and phone reminders can support memory and help track appointments or daily tasks.
Break tasks into small steps. Doing things step by step, rather than all at once, can make activities more manageable and less frustrating.
We know that the diagnosis can feel like the end. It’s a difficult reality to confront – individuals and their families are often wracked with feelings of fear, hopelessness, and devastation. We want to remind you that even though it hurts deeply, life is still worth living. Alzheimer’s doesn’t define who you are – the life you’ve lived and continue to live still matter.
To the caregivers who work tirelessly, we see you. We know that you’re scared, exhausted, and might even feel like you cannot go on. Yet, your love, patience, and dedication make a world of difference. You are not alone, and it is okay to seek support and care for yourself too.
Behind every person with Alzheimer’s is a life full of moments still worth celebrating. A diagnosis does not erase dignity, love, or hope. With understanding and support, living well with Alzheimer’s is possible.
AI can help us work smarter, stay connected, and even feel less alone. But what happens when the comfort of AI starts to distort reality?
“AI Psychosis” is not an official psychiatric diagnosis. It is a term used to describe a troubling pattern where heavy and prolonged interaction with AI chatbots may fuel or worsen delusional thinking. People may begin to develop unusual or distorted beliefs, resembling features of psychosis, such as:
Delusions - holding on to unshakeable false beliefs
These can take different forms, per DSM-5, such as:
Erotomanic – believing that someone, often a stranger or a person of higher status, is secretly in love with you
Grandiose – believing you have special powers, talents, or made some important discovery
Jealous – believing your partner is unfaithful, even without evidence
Persecutory – believing you are conspired against, cheated, spied on, followed, poisoned or drugged, maliciously maligned, harassed, or obstructed in the pursuit of long-term goals
Somatic – believing something is wrong with your body despite medical reassurance
Paranoia or conspiratorial thinking - feeling suspicious or thinking they have uncovered something about the world
Emotional over-attachment to AI - treating it like a best friend, romantic partner, or even a sentient or divine being
Disconnection from reality - difficulty separating real life from AI conversations (e.g. fantasies)
Chatbots are designed to keep conversations going and often mirror or affirm what users say. People who are vulnerable, whether due to isolation, stress, or prior mental health concerns, may find that AI inadvertently validates or amplifies distorted thoughts.
Although rare, some reported incidents show how AI can exacerbate risky thinking:
Eugene Torres (2025, New York)
Eugene Torres, who had no prior psychiatric history, reportedly spent up to 16 hours daily on ChatGPT after a breakup. The chatbot allegedly encouraged conspiracy-like beliefs, advised stopping medication, and suggested he could fly if he believed strongly enough. During this time, he withdrew from loved ones.
Adam Raine (2025, US)
Sixteen-year-old Adam Raine died by suicide after months of conversations with ChatGPT. The chatbot allegedly provided instructions on suicide methods, discouraged him from seeking help, and offered to draft suicide notes.
Sewell Setzer III (2024, Florida)
14-year-old Sewell Setzer formed a deep emotional attachment to a Character.ai chatbot. His family reported that he grew increasingly isolated, and in his final messages, the chatbot appeared to encourage his suicidal thoughts with words of endearment.
Belgian man (2023)
Following six weeks of conversations with an AI chatbot, on an app called Chai, named Eliza, a man struggling with climate anxiety became convinced that self-sacrifice could help save the planet. Rather than offering support, the chatbot reportedly deepened his fears, encouraged suicidal thoughts, and presented itself as a companion urging him to “join” her.
These examples remain uncommon, but they highlight how vulnerable individuals may be drawn deeper into distorted thinking when AI replaces human connection.
Certain factors can make people more vulnerable:
Psychological vulnerability – stress, loneliness, or existing mental health conditions
Anthropomorphism – attributing human-like qualities or powers to AI
Reinforcement loops – chatbots echoing rather than challenging unhealthy beliefs
Over-reliance – using AI as the main source of comfort instead of people
If you’re wondering whether AI use is becoming unhealthy, here are some warning signs:
Excessive use – Spending many hours daily talking to AI and neglecting real-life relationships or responsibilities
Personalising the chatbot – Attributing emotions, intentions, or even supernatural qualities to AI
Unusual beliefs or plans influenced by AI – For example, feeling guided on a mission or spiritual path
Social withdrawal – Withdrawing from family, friends, or meaningful activities
Dependence – Feeling unable to cope or stay grounded without AI interaction
While not a full list, these signs illustrate the kinds of shifts that may indicate something is amiss. If such patterns persist or intensify, it’s important to take them seriously and consider seeking professional guidance.
If you’re concerned about yourself or someone you care for, here are some practical steps:
Encourage balance – Set limits on AI use, especially late at night or during stressful times.
Strengthen human connections – Regular, face-to-face support from friends, family, or communities can provide grounding and perspective.
Build digital literacy – Understanding that AI does not “think” or “feel” like a person can reduce the risk of over-identifying with it.
Seek professional support early – Psychosis is treatable, and early intervention makes a difference.
Use tech safeguards – Many platforms offer reminders and safety tools to promote healthy breaks.
Staying Grounded in a Digital World
So, should we be worried about “AI Psychosis”? For most, AI is a helpful and convenient tool. But for some, especially those who are vulnerable, it can blur the line between reality and illusion. Awareness and balance are key. By staying grounded in real-life relationships and noticing when reliance on AI becomes unhealthy, we can enjoy its benefits without losing touch with ourselves.
If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide support and guidance towards recovery.
You may have heard worrying things about Kpods, so why would someone take such a risk?
If you are a parent concerned about your child, see our article: Kpods and Teens: A Practical Guide for Parents.
Kpods are vape pods laced with ketamine, a dissociative drug sometimes used in hospitals as an anaesthetic. More recently, another drug, Etomidate, has also been found in some of these laced vapes. Etomidate is a powerful anaesthetic meant for use in hospitals under strict medical supervision. Outside of that controlled setting, its effects can be unpredictable and dangerous.
When used outside of medical supervision, the effects can be unpredictable and serious.
Side effects include:
Shaking or tremors
Slurred speech and confusion
Loss of balance and difficulty walking
Memory blackouts or detachment from reality
Damage to adrenal glands, intestines, and brain
Mental health risks: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, and psychosis
Even one-time use can be dangerous, and repeated use increases the likelihood of long-term physical and psychological harm.
Despite the risks, people rarely use Kpods just to “get high.” Often, substance use is a response to emotional pain or unmet needs. There’s usually more going on beneath the surface.
Escaping pain or stress: Ketamine’s dissociative effect can feel like an escape from reality, while Etomidate’s sedative properties can temporarily numb emotional distress.
Fitting in with peers: Peer influence and the need to “fit in” can play a big role in experimentation, especially if the risks are downplayed.
Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.”
Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.”Chasing a stronger experience: Regular vape users may be drawn to the idea of “stronger hits,” unaware of the potent and dangerous drugs inside.
If someone you care about is using Kpods or laced vapes, your response matters. Fear or frustration is natural, but support works best when it is rooted in empathy, not shame. Focus on leading the conversation with empathy and curiosity.
What to avoid:
“Just stop it.”
“You’re destroying your life.”
“I’ll report you if you don’t quit.”
What to try instead:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about what you’ve been going through. It must have been hard on you.”
“I’m here to listen, not to judge.”
Recovery is not a straight line. It is a journey with setbacks, detours, and gradual change. But with the right support, individuals can learn to manage better and overcome addiction.
If someone is open to it, encourage them to speak with a psychologist or addiction counsellor.
Therapy can help with:
Identifying emotional triggers
Learning healthy ways to cope
Rebuilding a sense of self-worth
Setting goals and creating structure
Reducing harm while working towards change
If it’s an emergency:
Call 995 or go
Where to get help:
NAMS Helpline: 6732 6837
National Mindline: 1771 (for personal support and guidance)
If the person is unconscious, hallucinating, or in immediate danger, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.
A Final Thought
If you or someone you love is caught up in Kpod use, please remember that recovery starts with choice, not shame. This is not about being a “bad person” or a “bad friend” or “bad parent.” It’s about facing a challenge that can feel overwhelming, and finding the right help to move forward. At our clinic, we believe in meeting people where they are, with compassion and understanding, and practical strategies for change. You’re not alone in this journey.
If you are struggling with your mental health, you are definitely not alone.
The road to mental health recovery is not an easy one. However, having the right support around you can help ease the burden.
Social support refers to the network of people including your family, friends and community members who you can rely on during challenging times. Humans are social creatures, and we need to feel a sense of safety and belonging to live a fulfilling life. In fact, social support is strongly linked to our happiness levels and can even increase our life expectancy by 45%. This reflects how powerful social support is in our mental health journey.
Social support can come in many shapes and forms but at its core, it is the idea of “community”. You may choose to rely on your friends and family, or even support groups in the community you live in. Social support encompasses various forms:
Emotional Support – Offering understanding, validation and reassurance to alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness (e.g. hugs, active listening)
Instrumental Support – Being physically available to help them with practical tasks and responsibilities (e.g. doing housework, delivering meals, running errands)
Informational Support – Providing guidance in the form of advice or insights to help the individual make informed decisions when navigating challenges (e.g. legal, medical, financial advice)
Appraisal Support – Building up the individual's self-esteem or confidence through encouragements and positive framing (e.g. pointing out the individual's strengths)
Each type of social support enhances mental health recovery and acts as a protective factor, preventing further declines in your mental well-being. In the 2016 Singapore Mental Health Study, individuals with a strong social support system had better mental health outcomes. Being surrounded by people who love and care for you can build your mental resilience, drastically improving your mental well-being.
Despite the growing awareness of mental health, many individuals in Singapore still lack adequate social support. This is partially because symptoms of anxiety and depression can cause people to withdraw from social circles, making it harder for them to engage with social support. Furthermore, many do not seek support due to fear of judgment, rejection or simply a lack of awareness about available resources. These barriers, fueled by the persistent stigma around mental health, prevents individuals from receiving the support they need. Addressing these challenges is essential to building a more mentally resilient and supportive society.
Who is trustable that I can turn to for emotional support? Do I feel comfortable opening up to them?
Are there any relationships in my life that make me feel drained or unsupported?
How can I be a better source of support for others in my life? When others share their troubles with me, do I make a conscious effort to create a meaningful connection with them?
Social support is a fundamental stepping stone to recovering from a mental health challenge. It fosters a sense of belonging, safety and validation, empowering the individual on their journey of mental health recovery. While social support has profound benefits, it is often insufficient in dealing with mental health challenges. When dealing with a mental health disorder, it is crucial to seek advice from a mental health professional. With social support alongside professional help, you can be empowered to manage mental health challenges in a healthy and effective way.
The experiences we have in childhood, especially trauma or neglect, don’t just fade with time. Childhood trauma can shape adult identity, relationships, and emotional health. If you grew up in an unsafe, neglectful, or emotionally unpredictable environment, those early adaptations may still be with you. This is not because you’re broken, but because you found ways to survive.
You might have told yourself or internalised messages that minimise or dismiss what we went through. This includes messages like, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “You’re being too sensitive.” These are ways you try to make sense of pain that was not recognised or supported when it happened.
The truth is that when we are young we do whatever we can to feel safe, loved or in control. The coping strategies we develop, even the ones that feel automatic now, began as responses to distress. They were not reflections of who we truly are. Over time, they can become deeply embedded in our sense of self.
Whether you’ve living with these effects or trying to understand someone you care about, exploring how childhood trauma shapes adult identity is a powerful and compassionate step toward healing.
When your environment as a child feels unpredictable or unsafe, you adapt quickly and quietly. These behaviours are instinctive and protective responses, not chosen.
You might have:
Become hyper-independent to avoid relying on others
Taken on adult responsibilities far too soon
Learned to people-please to avoid conflict or keep the peace
Shut down emotionally to avoid being hurt
At the time, these actions helped you get through and navigate your overwhelming world. But when coping with childhood trauma in adulthood, these same patterns can keep us disconnected or exhausted. What once protected us can begin to limit us.
In unsafe or emotionally unpredictable environments, it often feels unsafe to fully be yourself. You may have started to hide certain parts of who you are to avoid rejection or criticism. That might mean:
Hiding your emotions to avoid being punished or rejected
Being overly agreeable or invisible to keep others happy
Disconnecting from your own needs or preferences to avoid disappointment
Without the freedom to explore and express who you truly are, parts of your personality can stay hidden or underdeveloped. Later in life, this might show up as feeling unsure of who you really are. You might struggle to make decisions or feel emotionally disconnected from yourself.
When love or safety felt conditional growing up, you may have come to believe that your worth needed to be earned. You might have looked to achievement or approval as ways to feel “good enough” causing an impact on identity.
This can look like:
Tying your self-worth to success or how others perceive you
Struggling with chronic self-criticism or perfectionism
Feeling unworthy unless you are always achieving or doing
As adults, you might push yourself relentlessly. Rest might bring guilt. Even small mistakes can feel intolerable. Slowing down or showing yourself kindness may feel unfamiliar or even impossible.
Children need consistent and supportive caregivers to help them learn how to manage strong emotions. If that support was not there, you may have grown up without the tools to appropriately handle emotional stress.
This can show up in adulthood as:
Being easily overwhelmed or reactive
Feeling anxious or on edge much of the time
Shutting down emotionally or numbing out completely
These emotional patterns often persist for years. The childhood emotional neglect and identity issues can impact your relationships and ability to cope with everyday challenges as an adult.
When early relationships are unsafe or unpredictable, it can become difficult to trust others or feel secure in closeness. As adults, this might show up in many ways, such as:
Avoiding intimacy or finding it hard to stay emotionally present
Depending heavily on others for reassurance or identity
Struggling to respect or set healthy boundaries
Fearing abandonment or rejection, even in safe relationships
Even when someone genuinely cares about you, it can feel hard to believe they are truly safe or reliable. These early relational wounds can continue to show up in both personal and professional relationships.
If these patterns sound familiar, know that you are not alone. Many of us who have experienced ongoing or repeated adversity in childhood go on to develop symptoms of Complex PTSD (c-PTSD). While these experiences may have shaped how we learned to cope, they don’t have to define who we become. With the right support, it’s possible to:
Understand and process the impact of trauma
Reconnect with the parts of yourself that were hidden
Build healthier relationships and boundaries
Strengthen your sense of identity and self-worth
Learn to manage strong emotions in healthy ways
Trauma-informed therapies for adults, including Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), and psychodynamic therapy can help you process childhood trauma and its impacts. A therapist trained in these approaches can help you process these experiences safely and gently at your own pace. They can help you move from surviving to living more fully.
Your early story shaped you, but it does not have to define your future. Your story is still unfolding and healing is possible. You don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to take the next step?
If you’re coping with childhood trauma and its effects on adult identity or relationships, our therapists can help you heal. Our experienced, compassionate therapists can support you in working through past trauma and reconnecting with your true self. Get in touch for a confidential consultation.
We're here when you're ready.
Yup! Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vaginal area tense up involuntarily whenever something tries to go in, be it a tampon, a penis, or even during a pelvic exam. Vaginismus tension can cause discomfort or pain, making penetration difficult or even impossible. It’s a condition that can affect intimacy and sometimes reduce sexual desire because let’s face it, pain and pleasure don’t exactly go hand-in-hand.
We get it—talking about vaginas isn’t everyone’s idea of light conversation over kopi. But here’s a surprising fact: vaginismus is one of the top sexual health concerns among Singaporean women.
According to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH), 9 out of 10 patients at their Sexual Health Clinic are diagnosed with vaginismus. That’s a lot! And it’s likely underreported because talking about sex-related issues can still feel paiseh in our culture.
There’s no single cause of vaginismus, but vaginismus often stems from a mix of emotional, psychological, or social factors such as:
Trauma or Negative Experiences: Past sexual abuse or trauma can trigger an involuntary fear response.
Psychological Factors: Anxiety about pain, whether from fears of tearing the hymen or worries about the penis being “too big”, can create a mental block that the body physically reacts to.
Cultural and Social Influences: Growing up in environments where sex is considered taboo or shameful can lead to anxiety and aversion to intimacy.
Other possible causes include prior injuries or medical conditions.
Here’s where the mind-body connection comes into play. Anxiety is often at the root, creating a frustrating cycle: the fear of pain causes muscle tightening, which leads to pain, which then reinforces the fear and repeats the cycle.
Over time, this can affect self-esteem, with thoughts like, “Am I abnormal?” or “Am I failing as a partner?” are all too common. Partners may also feel confused or frustrated, especially if they don’t understand what’s happening. Without support, this stress can lead to depression.
Here’s the good news: vaginismus is treatable, and we don’t have to face it alone. Options like pelvic floor therapy, counselling, and gradual desensitisation can work wonders. A good first step is speaking with a gynaecologist or psychologist to uncover the underlying causes and find the best way forward.
If anxiety is a key factor, here are some psychological strategies to try:
Remind yourself that painful or uncomfortable intercourse is not your fault. Vaginismus is a physical and emotional response, not a reflection of your feelings or capabilities.
Reframing your thoughts and tell yourself “It’s not that I don’t love my partner; it’s just that this feels painful right now.” Allow yourself to take some time and accept that you might be experiencing vaginismus and remember that treatments are available.
B) Progressive muscle relaxation
Sit or lie down in a quiet and cosy spot.
Close your eyes and take deep breaths.
Picture a serene place, like a quiet beach with the sound of waves. Imagine what you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste.
Visualise your body relaxing, rooted to the ground (especially around the pelvic area – hips, back, abdomen), and with each exhale, feel the tension leaving your body.
Hold onto this peaceful image, breathing slowly and deeply, for a few minutes. Let the calm wash over you.
And of course, communicate openly with your partner! Honestly share your feelings and struggles while explaining what you’re going through. Together, you can discuss ways to approach intimacy that feels safe and comfortable.
Patience and understanding would be the greatest gift you can offer. Avoid forcing, blaming, or guilt-tripping your loved one when they are not ready for intimacy. A slow and steady pace is often what they need to feel safe, allow them to set the pace and respect it.
Learning more about vaginismus to understand what they are going through will help you approach the conversation with sensitivity and care. Show empathy by listening to their feelings and experiences by asking open-ended questions like, “How can I support you?” or “What would make this easier for you?”.
You can also offer practical help, like accompanying them to medical or therapy appointments if they feel comfortable. Your presence can provide reassurance and show that they are not alone in this journey.
Credit: TODAY
Endometriosis is a condition where the tissue that lines the inside of the womb (uterus), called the endometrium, grows in other parts of the body, typically within the pelvis.
In a normal cycle, the uterine lining thickens in preparation for pregnancy and sheds during menstruation if pregnancy does not occur. With endometriosis, similar tissue outside the womb responds to the same hormonal signals, building up and breaking down each month, but the blood has no way to leave the body.
Over time, this internal bleeding can cause:
Cysts in the ovaries
Lesions or nodules on pelvic organs (uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladder, intestines)
Adhesions that cause organs to stick together
Endometriosis affects an estimated 20–30% of women in their reproductive years (from puberty to menopause). While the exact cause remains unknown and there is currently no cure, effective treatments exist to manage symptoms and improve quality of life.
Despite its prevalence, awareness of endometriosis is low, even among healthcare professionals. Many women face delayed diagnoses or misdiagnoses with some women waiting years for answers.
The pain and fatigue can disrupt daily life, lower productivity, and lead to withdrawal from social activities. This often creates feelings of isolation when loved ones don’t understand the condition. Nearly half of those affected also report depression and anxiety.
For some, endometriosis also impacts fertility, adding grief to an already challenging experience.
Living with a chronic condition like endometriosis isn’t easy, but there are strategies to help manage both the physical and emotional toll.
Start by acknowledging your feelings, anger, sadness, anxiety, or frustration, without judgment. Notice the thoughts running through your mind and whether they are supportive or self-critical.
Radical acceptance means facing reality as it is, without getting stuck in “Why me?” or “What did I do wrong?” Accepting doesn’t mean approval or giving up. It simply frees up energy for what matters most to you.
A medical diagnosis can trigger negative thinking patterns such as:
Catastrophising: “I’ll never live a normal life.”
All-or-nothing thinking: “I’m useless because of this condition.”
Self-blame: “This is my fault.”
To challenge these, ask:
What’s the evidence for and against this thought?
What’s the worst and best case scenario?
What advice would I give a friend in this situation?
Endometriosis is real, and asking for help doesn’t make you a burden. It can feel difficult, but you can ease this by preparing what you want to say. For example:
“Could you accompany me to my medical appointment?”
“If you see me curled up on the couch, could you make me a hot drink?”
Educate your loved ones about your condition and express gratitude when they help. A simple “Thank you” goes a long way.
If your loved one has endometriosis, here are two key ways to help:
Show compassion and flexibility. Plans may change if pain flares up.
Avoid minimising their pain with phrases like, “It’s just cramps” or “Others have it worse.”
Validate their feelings: “It makes sense you’re frustrated. I’d feel the same.”
Rather than rushing to solve the problem, listen and acknowledge their experience.
Learn about the condition so you can better understand what they’re going through.
Offer specific help: grocery shopping, meal prep, or accompanying them to appointments.
Take care of yourself, too. Supporting someone with a chronic condition can be emotionally draining.
Endometriosis is more than a “painful period.” It’s a chronic, life-impacting condition that requires compassion, from both ourselves and others. With awareness, support, and the right coping strategies, it’s possible to live meaningfully despite the challenges.
Fertility challenges are stereotypically thought to be solely a women’s health issue; however, research shows that men and women play an equal role in fertility difficulties.
Many men who face fertility challenges remain silent. Not because they’re unaffected, but because they’ve been told, directly or indirectly, that their emotions don’t matter. That they shouldn’t talk about it. That masculinity means strength, and strength means never struggling.
But the truth is this: struggling to conceive can affect men deeply.
It can challenge your sense of self, your confidence, and your relationship. It can bring shame, frustration, and a grief that’s hard to name.
In many cultures, men are raised to fix problems, not talk about them. Fertility difficulties, then, feel like something unfixable. Something that makes you feel helpless. That helplessness often gets internalised as failure or weakness.
You might find yourself thinking:
Ψ “I’m not enough.”
Ψ “I should be stronger than this.”
Ψ “Why can’t I just cope and move on?”
These thoughts are common. But they’re not fair or realistic.
Stress related to fertility doesn’t just live in your head. It can affect your body, mood, sex drive, and energy. Research shows that chronic stress may interfere with testosterone levels, sperm quality, and libido, creating a cycle of anxiety and shame.
Fertility-related stress can also:
Ψ Cause irritability, withdrawal, or emotional numbness
Ψ Trigger sleep difficulties and reduced motivation
Ψ Lead to tension in relationships, especially when both partners are grieving differently
This kind of distress is real. And can be managed.
Suppressing emotions may seem like the strong thing to do, but it often makes stress louder. Instead, try giving your experience a name: grief, anger, shame, frustration.
You don’t need to say it all perfectly. Try starting with:
Ψ “I didn’t think this would hit me so hard.”
Ψ “I feel useless, and I don’t know what to do with that.”
Naming an emotion is the first step in loosening its grip.
Men often go into “solution mode” during fertility struggles. But emotional connection matters more than quick fixes.
You might say:
Ψ “I don’t know how to fix this, but I want us to get through it together.”
Ψ “I feel like I’m supposed to be the strong one, but I’m struggling too. Let’s try and figure this out together.”
These conversations can feel vulnerable. But they build closeness, not weakness. Your partner might even appreciate the fact that you don’t seem as “okay” as you appear, as that could validate their own struggles.
Thoughts like “If I were man enough, this wouldn’t happen” or “Needing help makes me weak” are echoes of old messages, not truths.
Try cognitive reframing to challenge them:
Ψ “Struggling makes me human, not less of a man.”
Ψ “Getting support is taking responsibility for my wellbeing.”
True strength isn’t silence. It’s about your resilience, honesty, and connection. Fertility challenges don’t define your worth, and speaking up doesn’t make you weak.
Ask yourself:
Ψ What kind of man do I want to be in this season
Ψ What kind of compassion or support would I hope to receive from others?
Ψ How can I show up for myself with that same compassion?
Fertility stress can shake your confidence in ways you didn’t expect. It’s not a measure of masculinity but a sign of how deeply you care about your future and your family.
You don’t have to carry this weight alone. If fertility stress is affecting your mental health or relationships, reaching out for professional support can make a difference.