How do I Find Meaning in My Life?

What did I eat yesterday? Do I need to do laundry today? When was the last time I had a good laugh?  

As the days blur together, do you start questioning what’s the point of, well, anything? Maybe it’s not about routines and monotony. Does getting out of bed seem a little harder every day? Does it feel like you’re no longer living, just trying to survive?   

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. This question about how to pursue meaning or fulfilment in life can be traced back thousands of years to ancient scriptures and philosophers. After years of scholarly attempts to understand how it is experienced, it seems that we’re starting to gain some insight into this abstract concept of meaning. Before we dive in… 

It’s Not Just One Solution

First, there can be many ways to create more meaning in your life. The combination, or number, of ways, is unique to you; no one can (or should) say you’re doing it wrong! 

Next, the 3 established facets of meaning lie in feeling a sense of purpose, existential mattering (“my existence matters”) and comprehension of the world around you.  

1. A Sense of Purpose 

Ever heard of the phrase, “walk with purpose”? Like a compass in life, a sense of purpose guides your actions and decisions based on treasured goals or values. If it is difficult to think about the values you hold at heart, a good start is to think about how you wish to be remembered by your loved ones.  

An example could be, “I hope they remember me as someone who was diligent and driven in their career, but also reliable and responsible.” This answer shows a desire to be resilient and motivated in your occupation while being seen as someone others can trust and count on, taking ownership of your work, actions, or decisions.   

2. Mattering, in the existential sense 

It might seem narcissistic to think you “matter”, or that your actions in life make an impact on the world. Plus, how would you even measure it? Instead, the idea is to focus on how you contribute to others’ lives, whether big or small. Some also seek to leave a legacy for future generations.  

Again, this can be subjective, but the assessment of how you contribute to others need not be objectively accurate. Rather, you should truly believe that you contribute, or do your best to, in others’ lives.  

3. Comprehension about the world 

This one can be hard to grasp. We’re not asking you to make sense of how the world works completely because honestly, no one can. Some events are also very hard to make sense of and trying to may do more harm than good. 

The idea is more about feeling a sense of understanding of how your life seems to fit into a whole. How the people, ideas, objects, and events connect; how they form a larger picture and craft a story; how they played a role in shaping the person that you are today and the values you care for. 

Sources of Meaning  

Remember that everyone finds meaning in different aspects of life with different sources. Find the combination or source that works for you! 

Sources of Meaning
A Positive Affect	While unhappy, people can experience meaning in life. But people who are generally happier tend to experience more meaning.  If you’re struggling to find meaning from other sources, you could try mood-lifting activities, and think about how they help you comprehend the world and yourself better.
Social Connections	Finding meaning in social connections happens through feeling a sense of belonging, interdependency, or beneficence (that they benefit another’s life).  This could be done by forging closer relations with loved ones, joining shared interest groups, or serving your community.
Worldviews (Spiritual, or not)	Spiritual and religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are belief structures that help you comprehend how the world works, basically like knowing the “grand scheme of things”. Typically, religious faith and the concept of a divine plan lead back to each facet of meaning.  For nonbelievers, find meaning in areas of science, nature, meditation, politics, or awe-evoking experiences. Worldviews can be shaped by beliefs in these areas, promoting a sense of purpose or comprehension of the world.
Connecting to  the Self	A coherent life story weaves different elements of life together, helping someone to feel some sense of self. On one level, there is an understanding of how countless experiences have shaped you into who you are. On another level, it involves “true-to-self” action.  Authenticity can be seen with consistency in personality traits or values across time, or understanding the motivations behind inconsistent behaviours or changes in values. For example, understanding that a change in behaviour may arise from adapting to major life events.
Visualisation	The visualization of nostalgic memories, imagining a future meaningful event, and even how well you visualize can be linked to finding that sense of meaning in life.  Detailed mental imagery of nostalgic memories and familiar places can build that foundation for understanding how things in your life link together across time.
Accepting Mortality	No surprise, many would think this source of meaning is paradoxical. The idea that human lives end inevitably would make any pursuit for meaning in life, meaningless.  However, there are some variables which can overpower the crippling effect of mortality and push us on a meaningful pursuit. These include having stable worldviews, routines, perceived progress towards long-term goals, gratitude, and social connection (seem familiar?).

While it doesn’t mean that all our questions about life are left answered, we’re at least in a good place where we’re beginning to unravel some components and actionable steps to build lives that hold more meaning for us. This journey is different for everyone, so don’t feel discouraged if you have yet to find your sources of meaning. Everyone has their own story, journey, and pace in life.