ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY
周泳伶临床心理诊所
clinical psychologists
When someone’s in a foul mood, we might joke that they “woke up on the wrong side of the bed”. But is that all there is to sleep?
Ever wondered about the mechanisms of how sleep really affects our minds or mental health? We’re here to explain how it works, and why sleep is truly NOT for the weak!
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Life can be overwhelming. We crumble, curl up, roll into hiding, and build spikes in the process.
We know life can be hard sometimes and self-harming can seem attractive in response to the emotions or numbness we feel - but truly, there are healthier and more effective ways to cope than that.
So please, we hope you make good use of this list!
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A person's mind is a colourful mosaic.
Each tile represents an aspect of our abilities, experiences, and personality.
Ever felt anxious or filled with dread when your phone buzzes, displaying a name or number you didn’t expect to see, or a name that just comes up way too often?
Or maybe, intense anxiety when you misplace your phone, unsure where you’ve left it as you got dressed in the morning?
Dread, dread, drat! Our phones may be great for many things, but what if it cripples us in other ways?
Learn about telephobia or nomophobia - anxiety from picking up phone calls, or anxiety from separating from our phones or losing connectivity.
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When you die, you truly end everything. The life you have as you know it - memories, dreams, relationships, experiences, anything.
When you relieve pain, you relieve suffering. But things remain - your life, memories, goals, relationships, control.
For some, wanting the pain to stop is the same as wanting to die.
Here’s where we try to highlight the differences, and to remind you the cold reality of death.
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Music can be comforting, especially when they resonate with our pain and suffering. Countless singers and songwriters have written songs reminding us that we are not alone, even in the darkness.
We couldn’t possibly give you 10 songs about feeling alone or wanting to not be alive, and not give you another 10 songs with messages about fighting these feelings. From a variety of genres, we hope you enjoy our curated list!
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You’ve probably seen this covered on many other blogs, but you’re hearing this from us. The signs of a “real” narcissist - here are 10 of them, especially if you’re suspecting a partner to be one.
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“Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of
the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.”
- Nick Cave
“Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.” - Nick Cave
Feelings of helplessness is prevalent when it comes to trying to comfort someone in grief. From our psychologists, here are things to say (and not to) when someone you know is in grief.
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“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than walk alone in the light.”
- Helen Keller
A trusted friend makes a world of a difference in our lives. But trying to be that friend? Not as easy as it sounds. Here are 10 things to say to a friend who might be struggling with their mental health.
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Codependency is like when someone tells you they need a hand, and you don’t know which hand to give so you give both.
And then you’re worried maybe they need more, and decide, “How about my feet too?”.
But then what if they don’t know how to use them? Maybe I should add a manual.
While that seems like an over-exaggeration to some, the feelings and behaviours exhibited by someone who is codependent are very real. There’s some pervasive sense of responsibility, especially if someone is going through hardship, to the point where personal needs or self-identity just doesn’t matter.
Its Twisted Roots
The strongest root lies in our childhood familial environment. Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, are more likely to develop codependency.
Some examples:
Ψ A family member with chronic addiction or illness. A child is parentified, and grew accustomed to constantly sacrificing freedom, or interests, to care for their family member. “They won’t suffer if I give them my allowance. I’ll be fine.”
Ψ Abuse. A child believes they are unworthy of love or deserve the punishment. “I need to do more, to get the love or care I wish for.”
Ψ Domineering or controlling parents. High expectations and harsh punishments. “As long as the expectations are met, I can get approval, affection. Or I won’t be punished. It doesn’t matter what I feel!”
Ψ Purpose and self-image is tied to relationships with others
Ψ Self-expression is difficult – needs, opinions, emotions
Ψ Fear of separation, or abandonment
Ψ Others’ opinions or approval is a need, not a “good to
have”
Ψ “Their needs are more important, mine aren’t”
Ψ “I’m doing all this to take care of them, to rescue them”
(cue need to control)
Ψ Knowledge: Ignorance is not bliss – recognising the signs and identifying it bears the foundation for everything else.
Ψ Check: Thoughts, feelings, behaviours about yourself, and your relationship with others – have we lost ourselves in the process of giving away too much?
Ψ Craft the blueprint: Think - how do we support others without losing ourselves? How much can we give without losing everything? What can we protect or enhance? Negotiate, but clarify what our loved ones need as well – it’s collaborative.
Ψ Build the shield: It’s not going to be perfect and full-proof, and the first few times will always be rusty. But over time, we upgrade or learn how to do it better. Find what works for us, practice, fail, and learn again!
Humans are interdependent creatures. We can’t survive alone, but we don’t have to live for others as well. We each have our own needs and wants. Although interdependency is like a scale that can never be fully balanced or level, at the very least, it’s not all the rocks on one side.