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ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY

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Annabelle Psychology | Singapore's Leading Psychologists

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How to Heal After a Breakup: Gentle Tips for Heartbreak

February 23, 2026 Annabelle Psychology

A compassionate guide to processing the pain, rebuilding routines, and finding steadiness again.

Breakups can feel like your whole world has shifted, and the pain often shows up in your body, thoughts, and daily routines. Explore six gentle, practical ways to move through heartbreak with self-compassion, steadiness, and support.

Read more
In Guides & Tips, Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Relationships & Communication Tags Self-reflection, Grief & Loss, Coping Strategies
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Grief Rituals: Finding Structure in Loss

February 2, 2026 Annabelle Psychology

Simple, meaningful practices to help you cope, honour, and keep going

Grief can feel unpredictable, heavy, and hard to hold. A grief ritual is a small, intentional practice that gives your emotions somewhere to land. From lighting a candle to writing a letter or taking a mindful walk, simple rituals can help you honour what mattered and find steadier ground, one day at a time.

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In Guides & Tips, Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Relationships & Communication Tags Grief & Loss, Coping Strategies
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Understanding Trauma Responses and How to Heal

July 23, 2025 Annabelle Psychology

Trauma doesn’t always stem from one life-changing event. It can arise from a single experience, a series of repeated events, or a buildup of stress over time.

In response, our brains and bodies develop automatic mechanisms to protect us—these are known as trauma responses.

These reactions often happen reflexively, without conscious choice. While they may have helped us survive in the past, trauma responses can disrupt daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being if left unaddressed.

What Are Trauma Responses?

Trauma responses are instinctive reactions to perceived danger. These reactions are shaped by the brain’s effort to keep us safe based on past threats. Even long after the threat is gone, these responses can remain activated, especially in people who have experienced ongoing or complex trauma.

The 4 Trauma Response Types: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Ψ Fight Response

The fight response is characterised by confrontation. This can manifest as irritability, defensiveness, or aggression. While it may appear rooted in anger, it’s often driven by fear and the need to regain control in threatening situations.

Helpful in true danger, but may cause interpersonal conflict when over-activated.

Ψ Flight Response

The flight response involves escape. It may look like avoiding conflict, overworking, or feeling the urge to leave situations that feel overwhelming, whether it’s physically or emotionally.

Flight offers protection, but constant avoidance can limit connection and growth.

Ψ Freeze Response

Like a deer in headlights, the freeze response involves shutting down. You might feel numb, detached, or stuck, unable to speak or move. This mental “pause” helps the brain cope by disconnecting from the moment.

May delay healing if emotions remain unprocessed or repressed.

Ψ Fawn Response

The fawn response is the least talked about. It involves appeasing others to avoid conflict or danger. People who fawn may over-apologise, struggle with boundaries, or place others’ needs before their own to maintain safety and approval.

Over time, this leads to emotional exhaustion and unhealthy relationships.

Common Signs of Trauma in Daily Life

Even when the traumatic event is long past, trauma responses can continue to affect how we think, feel, and relate to others.

Ψ Hypervigilance

A state of constant alertness and scanning for danger even when none exists. This may cause overreactions in situations that feel “normal” to others.

Ψ Emotional Dysregulation

Difficulty managing emotions. You may shut down, feel numb, lash out, or experience intense mood swings without clear triggers.

Ψ Negative Self-Perception

People with unresolved trauma often internalise harmful self-beliefs (“I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable”). These aren’t facts, but echoes of how others treated them.

Ψ Difficulty Trusting Others

Trauma can create a deep-rooted fear of rejection or betrayal, leading to withdrawal, isolation, or fear of intimacy, even when connection is desired.

How to Heal from Trauma: Steps Toward Recovery

Understanding your trauma is the first step toward healing. Here are small but meaningful ways to start your journey.

Ψ Try Grounding & Breathing Exercises

Techniques like box breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 method bring you back to the present when anxiety or panic sets in.

Ψ Journal to Process Emotions

Journalling helps you organise thoughts, release built-up tension, and track your healing journey over time.

Ψ Practise Restorative Self-Care

Prioritise rest, nourishment, and comfort. This may include spending time in nature, engaging in hobbies, or simply taking breaks when needed.

When to See a Psychologist for Trauma Support

You don’t have to heal alone. A clinical psychologist can help you:

  • Understand your trauma responses

  • Rebuild a sense of safety and trust

  • Learn healthy coping strategies

  • Strengthen relationships and emotional resilience

Therapy provides a safe space to process trauma without judgment and develop practical tools to support your mental health long-term.

Final Thoughts

Healing from trauma isn’t linear. It’s okay if you take two steps forward and one step back. What matters is that you’re moving forward at your own pace with tools, awareness, and support.

If you’re ready to take that first step, reach out to our psychologists to begin your healing journey today.

In Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Relationships & Communication, Trauma & Recovery Tags Coping Strategies

How Sciatica Pain Affects Mood and Emotions

July 21, 2025 Annabelle Psychology

Sciatica is a physical symptom resulting in pain, numbness or tingling that can radiate from your lower back all the way down to your legs.

Living with sciatica can take a toll not only on your body but also on your emotions. Chronic pain alters the brain’s stress and emotion systems, making worry, frustration and overwhelm much harder to manage. If you have felt increasingly tense, distressed or stuck in a cycle of pain and exhaustion, you’re not alone. Understanding this mind-body connection is the first step toward regaining control and finding healthier ways to cope.

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In Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Men's Wellness, Women's Health, Guides & Tips, Relationships & Communication Tags Coping Strategies

Living with Chronic Pain: Understanding and Support

July 18, 2025 Annabelle Psychology

Pain is important in life. It is our body’s way of signaling to us that something is wrong. It allows us to take active steps to address the cause of the pain, ensuring that we are out of harm’s way. However, pain becomes an issue when it is persistent and disrupts our daily functioning. 

Living with chronic pain can be an isolating experience. The discomfort is often constant, yet the emotional weight of managing daily tasks, relationships and expectations can be just as challenging. Many people feel unseen or misunderstood, especially when their pain is not outwardly visible.

This article explores what chronic pain truly means, how it affects both body and mind, and why compassionate support makes such a meaningful difference. Whether you are navigating chronic pain yourself or supporting someone who is, this guide offers clarity, validation and gentle strategies to cope with daily demands.

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In Women's Health, Men's Wellness, Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Guides & Tips, Relationships & Communication Tags Coping Strategies

Trauma Anniversaries: How to Understand and Cope

July 4, 2025 Annabelle Psychology

A trauma anniversary marks the date when a traumatic event occurred. Even when we are not thinking about it, our mind and body often still remember.  

Trauma anniversaries can be a result of private (e.g. sexual assault, domestic violence or childhood abuse) or public trauma (e.g. natural disasters, terrorist attacks or political violence). Whether private or public, trauma anniversaries can stir up intense emotions and symptoms. These reactions are normal, and they are known as anniversary reactions.   


Why do trauma anniversaries occur? 

Trauma affects both our minds and bodies. When a traumatic event occurs, our body activates its fight, flight, or freeze response to protect us from the overwhelming danger. When this trauma is not fully processed, this survival response becomes overactive. Resultingly, cues that remind us of the traumatic event can trigger this intense reaction, even when there is no real threat.  

As the trauma anniversary nears, we may feel more on edge as our body reacts to perceived threats. These cues can be internal, such as emotional or physical states (i.e. feeling the same emotions or bodily sensations felt during the trauma). Cues can also be external, such as time-based (i.e. seasonal changes, time of year) or environmental triggers (i.e. sights, sounds, smells). Encountering a cue can activate the body’s survival response and can leave you feeling anxious, nervous or scared. 

However, these trauma reminders are not always negative. In some cases, they can support the healing process. For example, the anniversary of a loss may bring memories of a loved one and offer space to process your grief more deeply. Media coverage of a public tragedy can also rally survivors together and facilitate community support. 

For trauma anniversary signs in children and how to support them, check out our parenting guide.


Trauma Anniversary Symptoms  

Trauma anniversaries can often make PTSD symptoms worse. You may experience feelings of self-judgement and question “Why am I still bothered by this?”. Or you may face anticipation anxiety, dreading the day for fear you will struggle.  

Other common symptoms include: 

  • Reliving the event 

  • Most common symptom  

  • Re-experiencing the feelings, bodily responses and thoughts that occurred during the trauma  

  • Avoidance  

  • Avoidance of anything related to the traumatic event (i.e. people, places, objects) 

  • Negative changes in beliefs and feelings  

  • Old thoughts or feelings of guilt or shame may return  

  • Daily mood affected (e.g. sad, anxious, nervous)  

  • Affects how they relate to others (i.e. friends and family) 

  • Feeling “on edge” (hyperarousal) 

  • Constantly feeling jittery, nervous or worried  

  • Difficulties sleeping or having nightmares  

  • More reactive to small triggers (i.e. irritable, easy to anger) 


How can we feel better? 


Over time, the distress will become less frequent and less intense. Most people start to feel better within a week or two after the anniversary of the traumatic event. While symptoms can feel overwhelming, there are effective strategies to help you cope.  

1. Caring for Your Physical Health  

Your physical health pays a big role in your mental well-being. A balanced diet, regular exercise and sufficient rest is especially important when dealing with trauma anniversaries, as they help regulate emotions and build emotional resilience. 

Exercise releases endorphins, commonly known as “happy hormones” that reduce anxiety and boost our mood. What you eat can significantly impact your mood. So, eating nutrient-rich foods can ensure your energy levels are stable and improve your feelings of anxiety, fatigue or irritability. Lastly, rest is crucial in facilitating recovery from trauma. Sleep helps restore your brain function, regulates your moods and calms your nervous system. Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity when coping with anniversary trauma.  

2. Lean on your loved ones 

When facing something as heavy as trauma, it is important to surround yourself with people who make you feel safe, seen and supported. Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries, listen without judgement and show genuine concern. Remember, you are not alone! When trauma anniversary symptoms surface, reach out to someone you trust to get support. 

3. Journalling  

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to reduce your anniversary trauma symptoms. Writing it down can help you acknowledge and process all the complex emotions you may be feeling. It can express emotions or thoughts that are too hard to say out loud, providing an outlet to reduce emotional overwhelm and facilitate healing.  

4. Try Calming Exercises  

Heart pounding, hands shaking and thoughts racing – when our survival response takes over, it can be difficult to steady ourselves admists the overwhelming emotions. Mindfulness exercises can help bring awareness to our emotions, calm our nervous system, and reground us to the present.  

5. Seek Professional Help 

Trauma is not something to dismiss or minimise. When left unaddressed, it can become deeply rooted and lead to serious mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Sometimes, self-care alone is not enough – and that is okay! There is no shame in asking for help. Just like how you would visit a doctor when your body’s not feeling well, it can be helpful to visit a mental health professional if you have been struggling with your mental health. Therapists, counsellors and psychologists are trained to create a safe space where you feel supported, understood and heard. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do for yourself. 


Anniversary trauma and the distressing feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms it brings can be incredibly difficult to face. Navigating trauma can sometimes feel like an endless dark tunnel. But take heart – healing is possible. Lean on those who love you and be patient with yourself.  

Healing is never linear. Every small step forward makes all the difference to recovery. 

In Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Trauma & Recovery, Guides & Tips, Relationships & Communication Tags Coping Strategies, Childhood Trauma

10 Habits of People Living with C-PTSD

June 27, 2025 Dr Tay Yi Ling

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes disordered stress due to prolonged or repeated exposure to trauma.

The emotional and psychological symptoms of C-PTSD can feel overwhelming.

As a form of protection to themselves, they may cope in the following ways. 

1. Isolating Themselves  

Withdrawing from others gives them a sense of safety and security. Avoiding people, objects or situations that remind them of the traumatic event and trigger painful memories prevents them from feeling anxious. 

2. Emotional Detachment  

In addition to physical isolation, they may also emotionally detach themselves from others. This detachment helps them avoid questions or conversations from concerned well-wishers, families and friends that could unintentionally result in them revisiting the traumatic experience. 

3. Over-accommodating Others 

When interaction with others is unavoidable, those with C-PTSD may exhibit a tendency to people-please. They prioritise others needs over their own, going out of their way to ensure that others are cared for – often at the expense of their own well-being. 

4. Hyperarousal or “Always being on-guard” 

Those with C-PTSD often experience hyperarousal, which is a heightened state of alertness. They may constantly feel a sense of threat, so they stay ready to fight or flee at any moment. Even minor occurrences such as a sudden noise or movement could startle them.  

5. Poor Sleep Hygiene 

Being in a constant state of vigilance or “fight-or-flight” mode can cause sleep interferences as the body struggles to calm its nervous system. Many struggle with falling or staying asleep and may feel perpetually tired as a result.

To cope with the sleep difficulties, some individuals may turn to excesses, such as exercise, work, substance/alcohol use, etc, as elaborated further below. While helpful in the short-run, these sleep strategies lead to further implications in the individuals in the long-run.

6. Suppressing Emotions 

Not only do persons with C-PTSD avoid expressing their emotions, but they may also actively try and block out their emotions. This acts as a defense mechanism, preventing themselves from having to relive the experience.  

7. Irritability and Emotional Reactivity 

Persons with C-PTSD may experience heightened anxiety levels and feel irritable, causing them to lash out at others. These feelings of anxiety can be very distressing, and so additional stressors, however small they may seem, can cause one to feel angry or unpleasant. Constant irritableness can also impact interpersonal relationships, resulting in challenges in establishing and maintaining healthy connections with others.  

8. Persistent Self-Doubt 

Experiencing prolonged trauma – especially in situations where they were unable to protect or advocate for themselves – can cause individuals to lose trust in their own judgement. This self-doubt can be deeply rooted, leading them to question their abilities, decisions and worth.

9. Self-destructive Behaviours 

To cope with feelings of anxiety or escape distressing and intrusive thoughts, some persons with C-PTSD may turn to harmful coping strategies such as substance use or self-harm. While these behaviours offer temporary relief, they often exacerbate the emotional pain in the long term. 

10. Overworking as a Distraction 

Often deemed as workaholics, those with C-PTSD may get into the habit of overworking themselves to distract themselves from their trauma. While this may seem productive, working excessively can become a form of avoidance, preventing them from processing their emotional experiences, putting them at risk of burnout. 

These behaviours are common coping mechanisms exhibited by persons suffering from C-PTSD. While they may help individuals get through the day, they do not directly address the root causes of C-PTSD. If you or a loved one are struggling with any of these patterns, support from a mental health professional can be a crucial step toward healing and long-term recovery.   

Written by Yi Ling and our Associate Psychologist

In Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Guides & Tips, Relationships & Communication Tags Coping Strategies, Childhood Trauma

Not Knowing How to Live vs Wanting to Die

May 16, 2025 Annabelle Psychology

Why are we here and where do we go after? Thinking about life and death is human.

There are times when life feels overwhelming, and the struggle is less about wanting to die and more about not knowing how to keep going. This experience is far more common than many realise, yet people often suffer in silence out of fear, shame or the belief that they should simply cope on their own.

This article gently explores the difference between feeling unable to live and wanting life to end, why these feelings arise and how support can make a meaningful difference. If you or someone you care about is facing thoughts like these, you are not alone. Understanding these emotions is a crucial first step toward safety, clarity and hope.

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In Guides & Tips, Trauma & Recovery, Mental Health Challenges, Pain & Psychosomatic Pain Tags Coping Strategies, Stress & Burnout, Suicide & Crisis Support

Facing Cancer, Together: A Guide to Coping and Healing

January 23, 2025 Maximillian Chen

In that moment when you’ve just been diagnosed with cancer, feelings of fear and anxiety may begin to creep in. Suddenly, you find yourself plagued with a spectrum of emotions and thoughts.

In that moment when you’ve just been diagnosed with cancer, feelings of fear and anxiety may begin to creep in. Suddenly, you find yourself plagued with a spectrum of emotions and thoughts.

Whether at the stage of diagnosis, treatment, or survivorship, cancer affects the physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing of an individual. However, one should always remember that they are not alone on this journey. With the right support and strategies, the journey can be navigated with strength, courage and hope.

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In Pain & Psychosomatic Pain Tags Coping Strategies

10 Songs about Suicide & 10 Songs to Keep Us Going

September 21, 2023 Annabelle Psychology

Music can be comforting, especially when they resonate with our pain and suffering. Countless singers and songwriters have written songs reminding us that we are not alone, even in the darkness.

We couldn’t possibly give you 10 songs about feeling alone or wanting to not be alive, and not give you another 10 songs with messages about fighting these feelings. From a variety of genres, we hope you enjoy our curated list!

Read more
In Guides & Tips, Mental Health Challenges, Pain & Psychosomatic Pain, Trauma & Recovery, Relationships & Communication Tags Stress & Burnout, Suicide & Crisis Support, Grief & Loss, Depression, Identity & Self-Esteem
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Rates

Consultations after 6.00pm, or on Saturdays, Sundays, or the eve of or on Public Holidays, attract an additional fee (“After Hours“). Rates here.

Different rates apply to outcalls, couple, family, diagnostics and other services.

Contact

+65 8202 3385
appointments@apsy.sg

Novena

Annabelle Psychology (Novena)
Royal Square Medical Centre
101 Irrawaddy Road #17-12
Singapore 329565

Thomson

Annabelle Psychology (Thomson)
SLF Building
510 Thomson Road #15-03
Singapore 298135


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