Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)

Instead of talking through a memory in detail, EMDR focuses on helping your brain process it in a different way. During sessions, you’ll briefly bring a distressing memory to mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or sounds, which alternates between the left and right sides of the body. This process is thought to support the brain’s natural healing, reducing the emotional charge of the memory and making space for healthier beliefs. 

How Does EMDR Work? 

When we go through something overwhelming, our brain does not always process it properly. EMDR helps the brain finish that process. With the help of a trained therapist, you gently revisit the memory while using bilateral stimulation. This combination is believed to help rewire how the memory is stored, so it feels less distressing over time. Some researchers suggest that EMDR works in a similar way to  REM sleep. That is the part of sleep where your brain naturally sorts through emotions and experiences. Over time, EMDR can reduce emotional distress, shift negative self-beliefs, and build emotional resilience. 

Who is EMDR for? 

EMDR is a great option for anyone who’s still feeling the emotional weight of something that’s happened, whether it was recent or years ago. If something is still affecting your daily life, mood or self-esteem, it might be worth exploring. EMDR is commonly used to support people with: 

• Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) (e.g., accidents, abuse, violence, natural disasters)  

• Anxiety and Panic Attacks 

• Phobias  

• Depression  

• Grief and Loss  

• Low Self-esteem or Negative Self-beliefs 

• Chronic Stress or Burnout 

• Performance Anxiety (e.g., in work, sports, or the arts) 

• Attachment and Relationship Difficulties 

A lot of people turn to EMDR when they have tried talk therapy but still feel stuck. It offers another way in, especially for experiences that feel hard to put into words. 

What happens in an EMDR Session? 

EMDR typically follows a structured process, but your therapist will go at a pace that feels right for you. Here’s a simple breakdown of what the journey could look like:  

Phase 1: History-Taking 

• Your therapist will get to know your history, current concerns, and what you hope to achieve in therapy.   

Phase 2: Preparation 

• In this phase, you’ll learn calming and grounding techniques to help manage any strong emotions that arise during the process.  

Phase 3: Assessment 

• In phase 3, you will focus on a specific memory and identify a few key elements related to the memory: 

• A vivid image that represents the memory 

• A negative belief you hold about yourself in relation to it (e.g. “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”) 

• Any emotions or physical sensations that come up when you think about it 

• You will also choose a positive belief you'd like to adopt going forward, such as “I did the best I could” or “I’m safe now.”  

Phase 4: Desensitisation and Reprocessing 

• While focusing on the memory, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping). This helps the brain process the memory and reduce its emotional intensity. 

Phase 5: Installation  

• During this phase, your therapist will help you strengthen a positive belief related to the memory, supporting a more adaptive perspective.   

Phase 6: Body Scan 

• You will be asked to notice how your body feels while thinking about the memory and the positive belief. This helps identify if any physical tension or discomfort remains, as the body can hold onto stress even after the memory feels less upsetting. If discomfort remains, further EMDR processing may be done to resolve it fully. 

Phase 7: Closure and Stabilisation 

• Each session ends with techniques to help you feel calm and grounded. You’ll also prepare to manage any feelings that arise between sessions.  

Phase 8: Re-evaluation 

• In the following sessions, your therapist will review your progress, revisit targets if needed, and help you plan the next steps. 

So How Does EMDR Compare to Talk Therapy? 

Now that we’ve explored how EMDR works, who it may benefit, and what a typical session could look like, you might be wondering how it compares to more traditional forms of therapy. While both EMDR and talk therapy aim to support emotional healing, they differ in how they approach distressing memories and the pathways they use to promote recovery. The following comparison highlights some of the key differences between the two. 

 Curious About EMDR? 

Whether you're ready to start or just want to explore your options, we’re here to help. If there’s something in your past that still weighs on you, EMDR could be a powerful way to move forward. Feel free to get in touch with us to learn more or book a consultation. 

PMS Myths: Busted!

Due to lack of understanding, the public’s perception of PMS has become a stereotypical pool of negative connotations. Some misconceptions range from dismissing women’s feelings as irrational to viewing women as victims of their biology. These misconceptions have far-reaching impacts, affecting not just women individually, but society as a whole. Invalidating women's emotions and experiences may perpetuate existing gender stereotypes, downplaying women’s abilities.

Over time, women may feel like they have to struggle in silence, resulting in feelings of isolation and poor mental health. Additionally, these misconceptions could create biases in workplaces and hinder them from equal access to better opportunities. Today, we will tackle 3 myths of PMS and set the record straight! 

Myth #1: All women experience PMS  

Some women do not experience PMS symptoms at all. How PMS is experienced varies from each individual and symptoms can range from mild to debilitating. Just because an individual experiences some premenstrual symptoms does not mean she has PMS. PMS is only medically diagnosed when persistent and debilitating symptoms such as intense mood changes, severe cramps and difficulty concentrating have a significant negative impact on an individual’s life. High levels of stress, a family history of depression or vitamin deficiencies place individuals at a higher risk of experiencing PMS. 

Busted: Experiencing premenstrual symptoms does not mean you have premenstrual syndrome. 

 

Myth #2: PMS only leads to bad moods 

Experiencing mood swings or irritability is just one aspect of PMS. An individual experiencing PMS may encounter a combination of several different physical and emotional symptoms. Some of these symptoms include:  

Physical symptoms 

• Headache or backache  

• Bloating or gassy feeling 

• Constipation or diarrhea 

• Tender breasts  

Emotional symptoms 

• Feeling tired  

• Appetite changes or food cravings  

• Tension or anxiety  

• Depression or feelings of sadness  

Busted: PMS involves more than just bad moods – it includes a variety of physical and emotional symptoms.  

 

Myth #3: PMS is all in the mind  

Did you know that changing levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone causes PMS? Fluctuations of these hormones have been shown to lead to changes in mood, causing feelings of irritability and anxiety. These fluctuations can also cause chemical changes in our brains. Furthermore, neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, crucial for regulating emotions and behaviors, face a decline during menstruation. These changes result in depressed or low moods and bring rise to sleep difficulties.  

Busted: PMS is a result of biological fluctuations in your body that result in physical and emotional changes. 

 

Myth #4: PMS and PMDD are the same  

PMDD, also known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder, causes more extreme symptoms as compared to PMS. Individuals may experience symptoms such as cramps, palpitations, suicidal thoughts and sudden tearfulness. Symptoms of PMDD can be debilitating and make daily activities hard. If you suspect your loved one is facing PMDD, it is crucial you guide them to a mental health professional. 

Busted: PMDD is a severe form of PMS that requires medical treatment. 

More than 90% of women have reported experiencing at least one PMS symptom in their life. Hence, it is important for all of us to have a more accurate understanding of PMS. If you or your loved one is struggling with overwhelming PMS symptoms, do not hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can help you find ways to better manage it.  

Vaginismus: Mental Health Support & Coping Strategies

What is Vaginismus?  

Something to do with the vagina?   

Yup! Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vaginal area tense up involuntarily whenever something tries to go in, be it a tampon, a penis, or even during a pelvic exam. Vaginismus tension can cause discomfort or pain, making penetration difficult or even impossible. It’s a condition that can affect intimacy and sometimes reduce sexual desire because let’s face it, pain and pleasure don’t exactly go hand-in-hand.  

Shhhh! Are You Too Shy to Talk About It?  

We get it—talking about vaginas isn’t everyone’s idea of light conversation over kopi. But here’s a surprising fact: vaginismus is one of the top sexual health concerns among Singaporean women.   

According to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH), 9 out of 10 patients at their Sexual Health Clinic are diagnosed with vaginismus. That’s a lot! And it’s likely underreported because talking about sex-related issues can still feel paiseh in our culture.  

What Causes Vaginismus?  

There’s no single cause of vaginismus, but vaginismus often stems from a mix of emotional, psychological, or social factors such as:  

Trauma or Negative Experiences: Past sexual abuse or trauma can trigger an involuntary fear response.  

Psychological Factors: Anxiety about pain, whether from fears of tearing the hymen or worries about the penis being “too big”, can create a mental block that the body physically reacts to.  

Cultural and Social Influences: Growing up in environments where sex is considered taboo or shameful can lead to anxiety and aversion to intimacy.    

Other possible causes include prior injuries or medical conditions.  

Vaginismus and Your Mental Health  

Here’s where the mind-body connection comes into play. Anxiety is often at the root, creating a frustrating cycle: the fear of pain causes muscle tightening, which leads to pain, which then reinforces the fear and repeats the cycle.  

Over time, this can affect self-esteem, with thoughts like, “Am I abnormal?” or “Am I failing as a partner?” are all too common. Partners may also feel confused or frustrated, especially if they don’t understand what’s happening. Without support, this stress can lead to depression.  

Can I Ever Experience Comfortable Intercourse Again?  

Here’s the good news: vaginismus is treatable, and we don’t have to face it alone. Options like pelvic floor therapy, counselling, and gradual desensitisation can work wonders. A good first step is speaking with a gynaecologist or psychologist to uncover the underlying causes and find the best way forward.  

If anxiety is a key factor, here are some psychological strategies to try:  

Ψ Self-compassion  

Remind yourself that painful or uncomfortable intercourse is not your fault. Vaginismus is a physical and emotional response, not a reflection of your feelings or capabilities.  

Reframing your thoughts and tell yourself “It’s not that I don’t love my partner; it’s just that this feels painful right now.” Allow yourself to take some time and accept that you might be experiencing vaginismus and remember that treatments are available.   

Ψ Relax your body  

A) 4-7-8 Breathing  

B) Progressive muscle relaxation 

C) Guided imaginary     

1. Sit or lie down in a quiet and cosy spot. 

2. Close your eyes and take deep breaths.  

3. Picture a serene place, like a quiet beach with the sound of waves. Imagine what you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste.  

4. Visualise your body relaxing, rooted to the ground (especially around the pelvic area – hips, back, abdomen), and with each exhale, feel the tension leaving your body.  

5. Hold onto this peaceful image, breathing slowly and deeply, for a few minutes. Let the calm wash over you.  

And of course, communicate openly with your partner! Honestly share your feelings and struggles while explaining what you’re going through. Together, you can discuss ways to approach intimacy that feels safe and comfortable.  

How do I support my partner who has vaginismus?     

Ψ “Take it slow.”  

Patience and understanding would be the greatest gift you can offer. Avoid forcing, blaming, or guilt-tripping your loved one when they are not ready for intimacy. A slow and steady pace is often what they need to feel safe, allow them to set the pace and respect it.  

Ψ “You are not alone, I can help.”  

Learning more about vaginismus to understand what they are going through will help you approach the conversation with sensitivity and care. Show empathy by listening to their feelings and experiences by asking open-ended questions like, “How can I support you?” or “What would make this easier for you?”.   

You can also offer practical help, like accompanying them to medical or therapy appointments if they feel comfortable. Your presence can provide reassurance and show that they are not alone in this journey.