ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY
周泳伶临床心理诊所
clinical psychologists
Express feelings without blame, and invite real understanding.
When emotions run high, it’s easy to default to “you” statements that sound like criticism, even when you’re simply hurting. This guide shows how to use “I” statements to name what you feel, explain why it matters, and ask for what you need, so conversations feel safer, calmer, and more connected.
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Simple, meaningful practices to help you cope, honour, and keep going
Grief can feel unpredictable, heavy, and hard to hold. A grief ritual is a small, intentional practice that gives your emotions somewhere to land. From lighting a candle to writing a letter or taking a mindful walk, simple rituals can help you honour what mattered and find steadier ground, one day at a time.
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A closer look at why more men in Singapore are feeling isolated, and how gentle support can make connection possible again.
Loneliness is becoming a growing concern for men in Singapore, with many feeling disconnected despite being surrounded by others. From shrinking social circles to deep emotional strain, more men are struggling quietly. This article explores why loneliness affects men differently and how supportive steps can help rebuild meaningful connection.
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Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common yet least talked about sexual concerns men face. For many, it comes with shame, isolation, and worry about what it means for their masculinity or relationships.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common yet least talked about sexual concerns men face. For many, it comes with shame, isolation, and worry about what it means for their masculinity or relationships. But PE is treatable, and support is available.
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When Intimacy Feels Like A Test
When intimacy starts to feel like a test, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or disconnected. This article explores what sexual performance anxiety looks like, why it happens, and how to feel more confident and connected again.
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Arguments and tension are part of every relationship, but repeated conflict—especially during stressful times like fertility treatments—can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing.
According to the Gottman Method couples therapy, most conflicts are not meant to be resolved but managed with care and understanding. The key is learning how to talk about them in a way that keeps you connected. Here are some ways to improve communication and stay close, even when things feel tough.
Start gently, especially when bringing up a sensitive topic. Use “I” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage appointments alone” instead of “You never help”. This shift avoids blame and shows you want to work towards a solution. Make space for your partner’s perspective and try to keep your tone and body language calm. Even during emotional moments, a gentle approach helps your partner stay open rather than defensive.
Being open to your partner’s input shows mutual respect. That could look like saying “good point” when they raise something valid or finding a shared goal that matters to both of you. It’s not about giving in. It’s about listening, compromising, and recognising that no one gets everything in a relationship, but both can feel valued. Especially during high-stress times like a fertility journey, showing flexibility can make both of you feel more supported.
When things get heated, pause to cool down. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or share a small laugh. The aim isn’t to avoid conflict, but to navigate it without burning out. Even something as simple as holding hands during an argument can reset the emotional tone.
Compromise means finding a path forward that honours both your needs. Start by asking: What’s most important to me? What can I be flexible about? Look for shared goals, like wanting to feel emotionally close or making decisions as a team. Then work together toward a temporary or long-term solution.
Some issues won’t go away and that’s okay. What matters is how you talk about them. Revisit ongoing challenges with kindness, curiosity, and patience. These aren’t one-time conversations, but ongoing opportunities for connection.
Balance the tough moments with small positive ones. A quick hug, a shared smile, or a moment of empathy can go a long way. Aim for five positive interactions for every difficult one to keep the emotional connection strong.
Arguments can take a toll on your body. Do calming things together like deep breathing, stretching, or just lying down beside each other without talking. These small resets help your nervous systems regulate so you’re not in fight-or-flight mode all the time.
Get curious about the deeper meaning behind disagreements. Ask: “What’s your ideal outcome here?” or “Is there something from your past that makes this especially important to you?” These questions help you connect with each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, understanding their struggles and why they choose to make certain decisions.
You won’t always agree and that’s okay. What matters is feeling seen and heard. Ask your partner, “Why is this so important to you?” and listen to their values or emotional history. This builds a bridge between your differences instead of turning them into barriers.
At the heart of every strong relationship is a shared commitment to understanding and growth. Communication during conflict isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about showing up for each other, even during times of frustration. It takes effort from both partners to listen openly, manage differences with care, and stay emotionally connected.
By practicing these skills together, you can build a relationship that weathers disputes and emerges stronger on the other side. However, if conflicts persist, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professional guidance can help mend the connection that once was.
This article was created in collaboration with LELO.
Listening without judgment and validating their feelings are important.
We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal:
Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”
Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.”
Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”
It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans.
If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”
If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.”
Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!”
DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.
DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.
DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter.
A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping.
AI can help us work smarter, stay connected, and even feel less alone. But what happens when the comfort of AI starts to distort reality?
AI can be helpful, comforting, and convenient, but it can also become unhelpful when it starts reinforcing distorted beliefs or replacing real-world support. This page explains what people mean by “AI psychosis” (it is not a formal diagnosis), who may be more vulnerable, and the warning signs that suggest someone may be losing perspective. You will also find practical, compassionate steps to stay grounded, set healthier limits, and seek professional support early if needed.
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You may have heard worrying things about Kpods, so why would someone take such a risk?
If you are a parent concerned about your child, see our article: Kpods and Teens: A Practical Guide for Parents.
Kpods are vape pods laced with ketamine, a dissociative drug sometimes used in hospitals as an anaesthetic. More recently, another drug, Etomidate, has also been found in some of these laced vapes. Etomidate is a powerful anaesthetic meant for use in hospitals under strict medical supervision. Outside of that controlled setting, its effects can be unpredictable and dangerous.
When used outside of medical supervision, the effects can be unpredictable and serious.
Side effects include:
Shaking or tremors
Slurred speech and confusion
Loss of balance and difficulty walking
Memory blackouts or detachment from reality
Damage to adrenal glands, intestines, and brain
Mental health risks: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, and psychosis
Even one-time use can be dangerous, and repeated use increases the likelihood of long-term physical and psychological harm.
Despite the risks, people rarely use Kpods just to “get high.” Often, substance use is a response to emotional pain or unmet needs. There’s usually more going on beneath the surface.
Escaping pain or stress: Ketamine’s dissociative effect can feel like an escape from reality, while Etomidate’s sedative properties can temporarily numb emotional distress.
Fitting in with peers: Peer influence and the need to “fit in” can play a big role in experimentation, especially if the risks are downplayed.
Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.”
Chasing a stronger experience: Regular vape users may be drawn to the idea of “stronger hits,” unaware of the potent and dangerous drugs inside.
If someone you care about is using Kpods or laced vapes, your response matters. Fear or frustration is natural, but support works best when it is rooted in empathy, not shame. Focus on leading the conversation with empathy and curiosity.
What to avoid:
“Just stop it.”
“You’re destroying your life.”
“I’ll report you if you don’t quit.”
What to try instead:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about what you’ve been going through. It must have been hard on you.”
“I’m here to listen, not to judge.”
Recovery is not a straight line. It is a journey with setbacks, detours, and gradual change. But with the right support, individuals can learn to manage better and overcome addiction.
If someone is open to it, encourage them to speak with a psychologist or addiction counsellor.
Therapy can help with:
Identifying emotional triggers
Learning healthy ways to cope
Rebuilding a sense of self-worth
Setting goals and creating structure
Reducing harm while working towards change
If it’s an emergency:
Call 995 or go
Where to get help:
NAMS Helpline: 6732 6837
National Mindline: 1771 (for personal support and guidance)
If the person is unconscious, hallucinating, or in immediate danger, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.
A Final Thought
If you or someone you love is caught up in Kpod use, please remember that recovery starts with choice, not shame. This is not about being a “bad person” or a “bad friend” or “bad parent.” It’s about facing a challenge that can feel overwhelming, and finding the right help to move forward. At our clinic, we believe in meeting people where they are, with compassion and understanding, and practical strategies for change. You’re not alone in this journey.
If you are struggling with your mental health, you are definitely not alone.
Recovering from mental health challenges can feel overwhelming, especially when you are trying to manage everything on your own. Yet one of the strongest predictors of resilience is not willpower, but support. Meaningful connections, whether from family, friends, colleagues or community groups, can provide comfort, perspective and a sense of belonging during difficult periods.
This article explores why social support matters, the different forms it can take, and how you can build a support network that truly nurtures your well-being. You do not have to face recovery alone, and understanding the role of support is an important first step.
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