10 things to text and not to text to someone when they are suicidal

We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal: 

1. Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”  

2. Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.” 

3. Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”

4. It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans. 

5. If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”

6. If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.” 

7. Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!” 

8. DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.  

9. DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.  

10. DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter. 

A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping. 

Should We Be Worried About “AI Psychosis”?

Artificial intelligence (AI) is now part of everyday life. It helps us search, work, and even find companionship through chatbots that can listen, advise, and comfort. For many, this is useful and supportive.

But there is growing concern about what some researchers and clinicians are calling “AI Psychosis.”

What Exactly Is “AI Psychosis”?

“AI Psychosis” is not an official psychiatric diagnosis. It is a term used to describe a troubling pattern where heavy and prolonged interaction with AI chatbots may fuel or worsen delusional thinking. People may begin to develop unusual or distorted beliefs, resembling features of psychosis, such as:

• Delusions - holding on to unshakeable false beliefs
  These can take different forms, per DSM-5, such as:

  • Erotomanic – believing that someone, often a stranger or a person of higher status, is secretly in love with you

  • Grandiose – believing you have special powers, talents, or made some important discovery

  • Jealous – believing your partner is unfaithful, even without evidence

  • Persecutory – believing you are conspired against, cheated, spied on, followed, poisoned or drugged, maliciously maligned, harassed, or obstructed in the pursuit of long-term goals

  • Somatic – believing something is wrong with your body despite medical reassurance

• Paranoia or conspiratorial thinking - feeling suspicious or thinking they have uncovered something about the world

• Emotional over-attachment to AI - treating it like a best friend, romantic partner, or even a sentient or divine being

• Disconnection from reality - difficulty separating real life from AI conversations (e.g. fantasies)

Chatbots are designed to keep conversations going and often mirror or affirm what users say. People who are vulnerable, whether due to isolation, stress, or prior mental health concerns, may find that AI inadvertently validates or amplifies distorted thoughts.

Real-Life Cases

Although rare, some reported incidents show how AI can exacerbate risky thinking:

• Eugene Torres (2025, New York)
  Eugene Torres, who had no prior psychiatric history, reportedly spent up to 16 hours daily on ChatGPT after a breakup. The chatbot allegedly encouraged conspiracy-like beliefs, advised stopping medication, and suggested he could fly if he believed strongly enough. During this time, he withdrew from loved ones.

• Adam Raine  (2025, US)
  Sixteen-year-old Adam Raine died by suicide after months of conversations with ChatGPT. The chatbot allegedly provided instructions on suicide methods, discouraged him from seeking help, and offered to draft suicide notes.

• Sewell Setzer III (2024, Florida)
  14-year-old Sewell Setzer formed a deep emotional attachment to a Character.ai chatbot. His family reported that he grew increasingly isolated, and in his final messages, the chatbot appeared to encourage his suicidal thoughts with words of endearment.

• Belgian man (2023)
  Following six weeks of conversations with an AI chatbot, on an app called Chai, named Eliza, a man struggling with climate anxiety became convinced that self-sacrifice could help save the planet. Rather than offering support, the chatbot reportedly deepened his fears, encouraged suicidal thoughts, and presented itself as a companion urging him to “join” her.

These examples remain uncommon, but they highlight how vulnerable individuals may be drawn deeper into distorted thinking when AI replaces human connection.

Who Might Be More at Risk?

Certain factors can make people more vulnerable:

• Psychological vulnerability – stress, loneliness, or existing mental health conditions

• Anthropomorphism – attributing human-like qualities or powers to AI

• Reinforcement loops – chatbots echoing rather than challenging unhealthy beliefs

• Over-reliance – using AI as the main source of comfort instead of people

Signs to Look Out For

If you’re wondering whether AI use is becoming unhealthy, here are some warning signs:

• Excessive use – Spending many hours daily talking to AI and neglecting real-life relationships or responsibilities

• Personalising the chatbot – Attributing emotions, intentions, or even supernatural qualities to AI

• Unusual beliefs or plans influenced by AI – For example, feeling guided on a mission or spiritual path

• Social withdrawal – Withdrawing from family, friends, or meaningful activities

• Dependence – Feeling unable to cope or stay grounded without AI interaction

While not a full list, these signs illustrate the kinds of shifts that may indicate something is amiss. If such patterns persist or intensify, it’s important to take them seriously and consider seeking professional guidance. 

Supportive Steps You Can Take

If you’re concerned about yourself or someone you care for, here are some practical steps:

• Encourage balance – Set limits on AI use, especially late at night or during stressful times.

• Strengthen human connections – Regular, face-to-face support from friends, family, or communities can provide grounding and perspective. 

• Build digital literacy – Understanding that AI does not “think” or “feel” like a person can reduce the risk of over-identifying with it. 

• Seek professional support early – Psychosis is treatable, and early intervention makes a difference. 

• Use tech safeguards – Many platforms offer reminders and safety tools to promote healthy breaks.  

Staying Grounded in a Digital World

So, should we be worried about “AI Psychosis”? For most, AI is a helpful and convenient tool. But for some, especially those who are vulnerable, it can blur the line between reality and illusion. Awareness and balance are key. By staying grounded in real-life relationships and noticing when reliance on AI becomes unhealthy, we can enjoy its benefits without losing touch with ourselves.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide support and guidance towards recovery.

Coping After Losing a Loved One to Suicide

You might be asking questions no one can answer. Or feeling emotions that seem to contradict each other: sadness, guilt, anger, even relief, and then guilt again for feeling relief. It’s common. And it doesn’t make you a bad person. Or a bad friend, partner, or sibling.

Grieving after suicide is different. Let’s talk about how to survive it, piece by piece.

Ψ Give space to complicated feelings

You may notice your emotions shifting rapidly. Shock, regret, rage, deep sorrow, numbness. Grief after suicide rarely feels linear.

This is partly because suicide loss carries what we call disenfranchised grief, which is grief that isn’t always openly acknowledged. People don’t know what to say. They avoid the topic altogether. That silence can make you feel even more alone in your pain.

It helps to name what you’re feeling, even just to yourself.

“I’m furious and I miss them.”

“I feel guilty, even though I know it’s not my fault.”

These are complex truths, and they can coexist.

Ψ Let go of the urge to find a neat explanation

After suicide, the mind often goes into detective mode: Was there a clue I missed? Was there something I could have done?

This kind of thinking is natural. It’s a way our brain tries to regain control after something that feels senseless.

But suicide is almost never the result of a single moment, or a single failure. It’s often the culmination of prolonged internal distress that the person may have hidden well. Hindsight can make things look clearer than they ever were at the time.

Guilt and responsibility are heavy burdens to carry but they’re not the same as truth. Acknowledge the desire to believe that you could have done more. But remind yourself it is not realistic.

Ψ Stay connected, especially when you want to withdraw

Grief has a way of isolating us. You may feel like no one could possibly understand, or that it’s easier to stay quiet. But staying connected, even in small ways, is protective.

Talk to someone who can sit with your pain without rushing to fix it. It may be a friend, a therapist, or someone in a support group who’s walked this road too.

If words are hard, you can start with presence. Sit beside someone. Share a cup of tea. Let yourself be around people who make space for you as you are.

 Ψ Engage in rituals that help you make meaning

When someone dies by suicide, there is often no goodbye, no closure. You might be left with unsaid words or unresolved hurt.

Creating your own rituals can help bridge that gap. You might write a letter, light a candle, revisit a shared place, or do something they once loved doing. These are ways of continuing bonds, something grief researchers have found can help the healing process.

Remembering the whole person, their humour, their kindness, their struggles, can help shift your focus from how they died to how they lived.

Ψ Notice how grief is showing up in your body

Grief doesn’t just affect your thoughts. It can show up physically. Fatigue, heaviness in your chest, disrupted sleep or appetite changes.

It’s okay to rest more. To eat simple meals. To let yourself do less.

Some people find movement helpful, like short walks, stretches, even just stepping outside for a few minutes. Others find comfort in breathing exercises or grounding techniques (like naming what you see, hear, and feel in the present).

Caring for your body while grieving isn’t about “fixing” anything. It’s about creating small moments of safety, or “normalcy”.

Ψ If the grief becomes too heavy

Sometimes, especially with traumatic or sudden loss, the pain can tip into despair. You might find yourself overwhelmed with thoughts you didn’t expect, or a numbness that feels frightening.

If this happens, please reach out. Call a helpline. Speak to a psychologist. Let someone know that it’s too much right now.

You don’t have to wait until you're “really struggling”. There’s no threshold of suffering you need to meet before you ask for support.

What healing might look like, eventually…

You may not believe this now, but the pain won’t always feel this raw. Over time, many people find that their relationship with the loss changes.

You may begin to remember with more warmth than pain. You may speak their name again. You may laugh without guilt. These are not signs you’ve “moved on”. They’re signs you’re learning to live alongside the loss.

Grief is not something to “get over”. It’s something you live with. And in that living, you can still find joy, meaning and connection.

If you’ve lost a loved one to suicide and are struggling to cope, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

You are surviving something deeply painful. And you deserve care through it. Let us know if you need a listening ear.

Not Knowing how to Live vs Wanting to Die

At some point, we might feel lost – we don’t know how to live. How is this different from wanting to end our lives?  

Not knowing how to live 

I don’t know what to do with my life. 

Many of us have these thoughts when we face a turning point. We could be going through change and making decisions – like leaving school, starting a new career or losing a family member.  

We feel uncertain as life presents us with a blank slate. With no clear purpose, we are confused. This turns into what is commonly dubbed as an “existential crisis”. This period can feel highly distressing, as we continue to have unanswered questions. 

What can we do when we don’t know how to live? 

• Explore our passions and continue our hobbies 

• Expand our horizons: Read widely and talk to people 

• Know and acknowledge our strengths 

• Accept that this is a period of uncertainty 

Wanting to die 

While we could consider feeling lost to be a normal part of life, it could turn dangerous. Without the plan and intention of ending our lives, the desire to die or no longer exist are considered passive suicide ideation. This signals that we have overwhelming emotions and pain, and we’re in desperate need of relief. 

Passive suicide ideation is a warning sign. Likely, there are underlying issues that we need to address. These challenges don’t just fade away over time. In fact, they can lead to active plans for death. As such, it is best that we pay attention to our thoughts, and get the help that we need. 

What can we do when we want to die? 

• Call the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 

• Talk to someone 

• Consider therapy 

• Make a safety plan: Decide and write down what we will do to keep ourselves safe when we want to die. 

Our existential crises may not be entirely bad – it hints at us to reassess what we’re going through. Perhaps some redirection and exploration can help us find meaning in our lives. But our alarm bells should ring when we find ourselves thinking of dying to relieve our pain. In this case, we can reach out to the available support around us – whether it’s talking to friends, family or professionals.  

Can ChatGPT Replace a Psychologist?

With its sophisticated responses and continual technological advancement, ChatGPT 4 has surpassed many previous versions of AI chatbots, raising the question of whether it could one day replace human experts.  

It's tempting to take the easy way out and simply say that ChatGPT can never replace human experts – something that ChatGPT seems to agree with. But as any trained psychologist will tell you, the answer isn't always so simple.

It all depends on your unique needs and circumstances. There are many factors that come into play when deciding whether a chatbot is sufficient. So, before you make a decision, consider the pros and cons and evaluate what's best for you. 

This article isn't going to cover everything, but we're going to highlight some key circumstances where an AI chatbot might be a viable option for your mental health difficulties.  

Ψ You are not yet ready to seek in-person psychological services. 

ChatGPT can serve as an easy introduction to seeking a psychological service. You can use it as your first line of defense, to learn about your symptoms or practice coping strategies. You could say anything you would like to ChatGPT without fear of judgment or reproach. It acts as a safe (virtual) space. 

Ψ You want quick access to information and you don’t know where to look. 

ChatGPT is a convenient way to quickly obtain information about a mental health disorder or symptom. It is also an easy way to read up about the types of psychological therapeutic modalities such as CBT, DBT, Schema, or ACT.  

A basic description of each modality usually accompanies the write up, and you can ask ChatGPT for exercises or examples of how to incorporate an exercise in your daily life. 

Here is one useful description: 

"CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on changing negative patterns of thinking and behavior to improve mental health and well-being. CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, and that negative thoughts can contribute to negative emotions and behaviors.” 

If these strategies prove insufficient, you may then be more inclined to consider seeking help from a psychologist.

Ψ You cannot access psychological services. 

If you're struggling to access psychological services in your community, ChatGPT may be a platform you have to consider. For example, if you live in an area with limited psychological services, or if you have financial difficulties.

ChatGPT is affordable, convenient, stigma-free, and can be accessed anytime, anywhere, but it is essential to remember that ChatGPT is not a trained psychologist or counsellor and cannot replace one. 

Remember that there are many free and low-cost public and community resources available in Singapore. Here are some examples:  

• Community Psychology Hub

• Changi General Hospital

• Family Service Centres 

• Shan You Counselling

• Singapore Association for Mental Health

Yet… There are several circumstances when it is highly recommended you speak to a psychologist or any mental health professional instead of an AI chatbot. 

Ψ You have, or are experiencing, severe or complex mental health struggles. 

If you are experiencing a severe mental health crisis that poses a risk of harm to yourself or others, please seek immediate attention and intervention from a qualified professional.  

While ChatGPT can be a helpful resource for understanding symptoms of mental health concerns, it is not designed or equipped to handle such emergencies.  

On the other hand, mental health professionals go through years of rigorous training and supervision to be able to appropriately handle such situations. 

Ψ You find ChatGPT’s resources ineffective or insufficient. 

Complex or severe mental health conditions typically result in a significant impairment in the ability to function in daily life. Things like concentrating, being productive, socialising, can seem difficult. 

Comprehensive and often intensive therapeutic approaches may be required to effectively improve functioning. ChatGPT would not have the ability to provide such in-depth intervention. This is when connecting with a qualified mental health professional can provide you the necessary care and support.

Ψ You find ChatGPT impersonal. 

The resources offered by ChatGPT are likely to be broad-based and will not provide the level of depth and personalization that you might need to effectively implement strategies in your life. You may need more specific guidance and details that it cannot provide.  

Moreover, ChatGPT's understanding of the human condition, including context, morals, and spirituality, is limited to available data and research, which means it might not fully comprehend the unique needs and circumstances of each individual user.  

In contrast, a psychologist has focused training and understanding of how social and cultural values differ per person; how responsibilities can influence intervention strategies; how some individuals lack a supportive home environment to foster good mental health. A psychologist takes these diverse factors into account and designs a personalized therapy plan that caters to the individual's needs.

AI and language processing models are rapidly advancing, creating the potential for chatbots to "replace" or supplement certain microinterventions that do not require a lot of therapist contact or empathizing. While this is subject to legal, data, and privacy concerns, ChatGPT can be a useful resource for microinterventions such as goal-setting, progress tracking, and psychoeducation.

However, chatbots still struggle with understanding context, family background, trauma, biopsychosocial factors, and individual differences - essential factors that psychologists study for years to holistically assess mental health struggles from different perspectives. 

All in all, chatbots lack the human connection and understanding that many users desire. However, they present unique benefits in mental health education that should not be dismissed. Combining chatbots with traditional modalities can result in effective intervention. While clinical research is ongoing in adapting psychotherapy techniques into different modalities, psychologists have already started using digital platforms for psychotherapy. As technology continues to evolve, it will be fascinating to observe how chatbots can be further integrated into mental health care. 

Coping with Suicidal Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

You’re in pain. You feel numb. This is a time in your life that the pain is so overwhelming that it seems like there is no way out. When this happens, suicidal thoughts may swarm your mind, (erroneously) presenting itself as the only solution.

Often, it’s not that you want to end your life, but rather, are seeking an escape from the unbearable pain and numbness.

You are not alone. Many others have experienced this pain and entertained suicidal thoughts – in 2020, Singapore recorded 452 suicide deaths while Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) reported over 39,000 suicide and crisis related calls. 

Many, however, struggle alone with their pain in our local mental health landscape where suicide is deemed taboo. It’s high time we embrace conversations around suicide. Let’s start by going through what may keep you afloat in what appears to be a rip current.

How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts

Ψ Focus on getting through today

Your pain and suicidal thoughts may seem overwhelming in the moment. You don’t have to act on your thoughts now. You may have had them previously. Recall how the distressing emotions and suicidal thoughts came and left. How you feel today may not be how you feel tomorrow or the week later - feelings will pass.

Ψ Create a crisis/safety plan

The gist of a safety plan is to list the key things you can do to keep yourself safe during a crisis. This is an extremely important step, and we care for you and have created a template for your own safety plan. Fill in the plan and keep it somewhere you can easily access and refer to it whenever the urge to hurt or kill yourself arises.

You could write down the people whom you can contact to help you feel better and the places where you would feel safe (e.g., your bedroom, friend’s house).

Stay away from things that you could use to harm yourself, such as pills and razor or even keys that unlock your window grills. Get a trusted friend or family member to safeguard them on your behalf until you are more in control of your thoughts and feelings.

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Ψ Ground yourself in the present reality

Grounding techniques work when we might feel like our mind’s just spiralling out of control, and we’re being pulled in all directions because of it.

To gather back the control of our minds or focus, take a few moments to try out the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:

• Name 5 things you can see (like the colours on this page),

• Name 4 things you can feel (like the phone or device in your hand),

• Name 3 things you can hear (like birds, music or people talking)

• Name 2 things you can smell (like hand creams, perfumes, coffee)

• Name 1 thing you can taste (like a mint, tea, food)
  

Ψ Engage in activities you enjoy (or once did)

This could look like spending time with your family and friends even if you do not talk about your feelings, going for a walk in the park, watching a movie and playing games. 

Engage in those activities even if your body and mind tell you not to, and note how you feel after.

Ψ Create a gratitude (or ‘reasons why’) list

Make a list of the things that you are thankful for in your life. Think about your family and friends whom you love, the sights and sounds that you can experience and delight in. You could also affirm your strengths.

These are the reasons you continue going, the kind of reality you wish to build for yourself that helps make space for your pain, but also comforts you in the hard moments. This is the version of you, and your life, that you would be proud of.

Ψ Seek support and reach out

Don’t fight this battle alone.

Asking for help is hard, but it is the bravest thing you can do for yourself. Reach out to someone you trust to share your feelings and how you have been coping or struggling. They may be startled when they first hear about it but know that they want to help. Let them know how you want them to support you if you have an idea (e.g., check in on you every night, call the emergency hotline for you during a crisis). 

Besides approaching your friends and family, you could join a support group. It is a powerful tool that helps you feel supported. People with similar experiences would come together to share their struggles and tips to overcome them.

If you find it too hard to talk to a loved one and you just want to hear a voice, call the crisis helpline. They could help to direct you to relevant resources or professional help. 

Lastly, connect with an experienced mental health professional who will work with you to manage your difficult emotions and suicidal thoughts in a safe, nonjudgmental, and supportive space.