ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY
周泳伶临床心理诊所
clinical psychologists
When Intimacy Feels Like A Test
When intimacy starts to feel like a test, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or disconnected. This article explores what sexual performance anxiety looks like, why it happens, and how to feel more confident and connected again.
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If you’ve ever struggled with how you look, or care about someone who does, you may have heard remarks like “you’re just being vain” or “everyone worries about their appearance.”
Many people mistake Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) for vanity. In truth, it’s a deeply distressing mental health condition. Learn why it’s misunderstood and how to support yourself or someone you care about.
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Pregnancy is often described as a glowing and joyful time. But for some women, the reality looks and feels very different.
Pregnancy isn’t always glowing or joyful. For some women, severe nausea and exhaustion take over. Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) is more than morning sickness — it’s a serious condition that can affect both body and mind.
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Have you been feeling tired, irritable or emotionally flat lately?
If you are a male over the age of 40, you may be going through andropause.
If you’re a man over 40 and feeling unusually tired, moody, or emotionally flat — you’re not alone. You might be experiencing andropause. Also known as late-onset hypogonadism, andropause refers to a gradual drop in testosterone levels, affecting up to 1 in 4 Singaporean men. The changes aren’t just physical — they can impact your mood, motivation, sleep, and even self-worth. Here’s how to recognise the signs and take steps towards feeling more like yourself again.
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Have you ever found yourself fixating on a small detail about your appearance, something no one else seems to notice?
These thoughts are normal and part of being human.
We all feel self-conscious at times. But when appearance worries become constant and distressing, it could be Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Learn how to recognise the signs and where to get help.
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Being called manipulative can feel painful and confusing. Before you take the label to heart, pause to reflect on what it means, where it came from and whether it may point to deeper patterns. Here are some gentle steps you can take to understand yourself with compassion.
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Regardless of whether it's a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a family setting, conflicts do happen, and it is normal.
However, unresolved conflicts can not only potentially affect the bond of a relationship, but they can also have a negative impact on one's mental well-being. If that relationship matters to you and you wish to handle any potential upcoming conflicts better in the future, here are some tips that you might find useful.
This is probably one of the hardest things to do, especially when you are in a heated conversation. However, staying calm is important for two-way communication to take place and to prevent conflicts from escalating. Staying calm also prevents the conflict from deviating from the initial issue to personal attacks, which are common in conflicts. If you find it hard to remain calm, it's okay to take a break and continue the discussion only when both of you are calm.
To resolve conflicts, it is crucial to compromise. If both parties insist on their stances and are not willing to compromise at all, there is no way to resolve the conflict. Try to find some middle ground and negotiate areas where both parties are willing to compromise, leading to a win-win situation. It might also be useful to remind ourselves that finding a middle ground does not mean that we are being taken advantage of. It is a collaborative action taken by both parties to maintain the bond of the relationship.
Whenever conflicts arise, we usually find it hard to stop and listen to what others have to say. To resolve conflicts, effective communication is essential, and the essence of effective communication requires information to be passed and processed by each party. While we are sharing our point of view, it is equally important to listen to others' perspectives and try to put ourselves in their shoes. This facilitates two-way effective communication and helps avoid bias or pre-existing judgments.
When someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, do you choose to keep quiet because it was their first time, or do you choose to talk to them about it? If you chose the latter, congratulations, you might have just prevented a future conflict from arising. Many times, when someone makes us uncomfortable, we may choose to keep quiet and 'digest' it on our own. However, negative emotions tend to accumulate, and the next time they do something that makes you uncomfortable, you might be more likely to lash out at them and spark an argument. Hence, it is always encouraged to communicate early and establish healthy boundaries to avoid conflicts in a relationship.
“I” statements such as 'I felt hurt when you said this' or 'I feel angry when promises are not kept' help convey your feelings and thoughts. They are also less offensive compared to statements such as 'You are so rude' or 'You are a liar'. Additionally, “I” statements prevent us from making assumptions or accusing the other party without allowing them to explain, which could further spark an argument.
Conflicts in a relationship are sometimes inevitable, and when they arise, try to make use of them as a chance for communication. By adopting the strategies mentioned above, it may be helpful to resolve conflicts and strengthen the bond of the relationship.
Emotional wellbeing is the foundation of a healthy, well-balanced life.
In the busy, fast-paced world that we live in, it is easy to overlook our emotional needs. We brush off stress, ignore burnout, and bottle up our feelings until they overflow. Just like our physical health, our emotional health needs consistent care and attention. Here are 6 practical, empowering tips to help you take care of your emotional health – one mindful moment at a time.
Humans are social creatures! Introvert or extrovert, we need a network of people we love and who love us, to lean on in the good and bad times. Having a good circle of friends and family around you can reduce feelings of isolation, buffer against stress and promote mental resilience. In fact, social support is strongly linked to our happiness levels and can even increase our life expectancy by 45%. This reflects how important community is in taking care of our mental health.
Have you ever heard the saying: “You are the average of your five closest friends?” While not to be taken literally, this saying highlights an important truth. We are shaped by the people around us and their moods, values and habits can significantly influence ours. That is why it is crucial to surround yourself with people who uplift, encourage and respect you.
Check-in with yourself: Do the people in your life listen without judgement? Do they respect your boundaries?
Healthy relationships should feel supportive, not draining. Invest in relationships that nourish you. Whether it’s a deep conversation with a close friend or a quick check-in text, staying socially connected is one of the simplest, yet most powerful ways to care for your mental health.
Stress is inevitable. While we can’t escape from the stressors of life, we can choose how to respond. Learning how to manage your stress in a healthy, constructive way can not only help you feel more in control but also plays a major role in protecting your mental well-being. To manage your stress, you must first learn to identify your sources of stress. Stress can come from work, family or even parenting and can manifest in physical, psychological and behavioral symptoms.
In the past week, have you...
Felt easily irritated or frustrated?
Had trouble sleeping or felt constantly tired?
Found it hard to focus or make decisions?
Noticed changes in your appetite (eating more or less)?
Felt overwhelmed or like things are out of your control?
If you’ve checked 2 or more, it might be a sign that stress is building up.
But do not fret! While stress can feel overwhelming, there are practical strategies we can use to manage it.
When we are stressed, it is easy for our thoughts to run wild. We may catastrophise, focus on the negatives or overgeneralise. These are common negative thinking patterns that often result in us feeling worse off than before! It is important we become aware of these thoughts and challenge them.
For example, a thought may look like: “I stuttered in the job interview. I will never be able to get a job.”
This is catastrophising, where we habitually assume the worst when faced with uncertainties.
To challenge the thought, ask yourself: Is that the only, and whole truth? Are there other perspectives I should consider? Am I holding myself up to an unrealistic standard of perfection?
Using these questions, a more helpful thought may look like: “I stuttered but one imperfect moment doesn’t define my entire future.”
To live a well-balanced life, we need to establish boundaries in our life. Sometimes, it is okay to say “No” and prioritise our own needs. The type of boundary set looks different for everyone and depends on the source of the stress. For a stay-at-home mother, this may look like designating “me time” every day (even 15-20 minutes) to just rest and do something you enjoy – no kids, no interruptions. For a working adult, it may look like turning off your email notifications after working hours, to ensure you get complete rest from the office. Setting boundaries is important to prevent burnout and protect your mental health.
Mindfulness boosts our emotional health by making us more aware of our emotions, both good and bad, and gives us the space to acknowledge and process them. Here are some mindfulness exercises you can try at home:
Sit comfortably in your chair. You may wish to keep your eyes open or close your eyes.
Breathe. Pay attention to the air as it enters your nostrils and into your lungs. Is the air warm? Cool?
Then breathe out through your mouth. Notice your chest and belly deflate as air leaves your lungs.
Repeat these steps for 1 minute.
Get comfortable
Lie down on your back or sit with your feet flat on the ground somewhere you won’t be disturbed.
Notice Your Breath
Breath naturally. Notice the breath entering and leaving your nostrils and the way your chest rises and falls with your breath.
Pay Attention to How Your Body Feels
Close your eyes. Pay attention to how each part of your body feels. The texture of your clothes against your skin, the parts of your body touching the surface, parts of your head.
Scan from your Toes to Head
Imagine you are outside your body and looking at yourself. Shift your gaze slowly and systematically, from your toes all the way to your head.
Remember to approach mindfulness exercises in an open and non-judgmental way. Don’t try to push away unwanted feelings, thoughts or distractions. Just be.
The mind-body connection is the relationship between our mental and physical health. Taking care of your body isn’t just about avoiding illness; it is a powerful way to improve your mental well-being. Research has consistently showed that eating a balanced diet, exercising and having sufficient rest can strengthen our emotional health.
Balance begins with food, movement and rest. But out of these, rest is often the most overlooked. In the busyness of life, we often sacrifice our sleep. But rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Adults typically need between 7-9 hours of sleep. Setting up good sleep habits such as limiting pre-bed screen time, avoiding caffeine late in the day and setting a bedtime can encourage good sleep hygiene. Having sufficient sleep can make a big difference in how rested and mentally refreshed you feel.
Gratitude is a simple yet powerful habit that shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s already good in your life. It helps you find joy in the small moments, building your emotional resilience. Being intentional is important when it comes to practicing gratitude. So, a simple gratitude log can help!
Today I am grateful for...
Something I enjoyed doing today: _________________
One thing about myself I’m thankful for: _________________
Something in nature I appreciated: _________________
A person I’m grateful for: _________________
A small moment of peace or joy: _________________
Spending a few minutes of your day reflecting on what your grateful for can rewire your brain to focus on the positives!
The most important thing when it comes to caring for our mental health is knowing when to seek help. Life can weigh heavily on us and feel like more then we can manage. Sometimes, self-care alone isn’t enough – and that's okay. There is no shame in asking for help. Just like how you’d visit a doctor when your body’s not feeling well, it can be helpful to visit a mental health professional if you’ve been struggling with your mental health. Therapists, counsellors and psychologists are trained to create a safe space where you feel supported, understood and heard. Remember, you are not alone. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do for yourself.
Feeling like you're never doing enough at work? You're not alone.
When the pressure to perform perfectly becomes constant, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. This article explores five practical strategies to help you manage high personal expectations at work — from shifting your mindset to setting realistic goals and letting go of unhelpful comparisons. Learn how to stay productive without compromising your wellbeing.
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A frightening disease and a painful reality for the one who is diagnosed and family who needs to care for them.
Alzheimer’s Disease, as often portrayed in books and shows, usually begins with subtle memory lapses, increased confusion, and changes in mood and personality. As the disease progresses, disorientation and fear can grow. The loss of precious memories — the ones that stitch our lives together, shape who we are, and connect us to those we love — is a painful reality for those living with Alzheimer’s. They must confront this reality daily, and perhaps the most heart-wrenching question is:
It’s a frightening disease. It affects memory, thinking, behaviour, and the ability to carry out everyday tasks. Though often used interchangeably with ‘dementia,’ Alzheimer’s is specifically a progressive brain disorder that gradually makes independent daily life more challenging. Understanding what Alzheimer’s is helps us recognise why these early changes in memory, thinking, and behaviour are so important to notice.
Alzheimer’s usually creeps in quietly, so the early signs can be easy to miss. Some things to look out for include:
Forgetting recent conversations or events
Struggling with everyday planning or problem-solving
Feeling confused even in familiar places
Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps
Withdrawing from social activities
Changes in mood and personality
Noticing the early signs is just the first step. Visiting a polyclinic or GP for an initial assessment can help ease some of the confusion, constant guessing, and worry that often come with uncertainty. From there, you can begin receiving guidance, support, and answers. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Support often comes from a multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals, including doctors, psychologists, occupational therapists, and social workers. The type of support may change over time, but the goal remains the same: to ensure that every step of the journey is guided with understanding, compassion, and care.
As psychologists, we’re here to walk alongside you and your loved ones at every stage of Alzheimer’s. We help you make sense of memory changes and cognitive challenges. We also support assessment and diagnosis, so you can better understand what is happening.
As the disease progresses, we offer psychological support, practical strategies to manage daily challenges, and guidance for caregivers on how to maintain emotional connection and understanding. We want to help you and your loved ones feel supported, empowered, and able to focus on meaningful moments together.
Small, simple strategies can make a big difference for both those living with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. Some ideas include:
Keep a consistent routine. Simple schedules help reduce confusion and give the individual a sense of security and grounding.
Label and organise spaces. Clear labels on doors, drawers, or cupboards make it easier to find things and maintain independence.
Use memory tools. Calendars, notebooks, and phone reminders can support memory and help track appointments or daily tasks.
Break tasks into small steps. Doing things step by step, rather than all at once, can make activities more manageable and less frustrating.
We know that the diagnosis can feel like the end. It’s a difficult reality to confront – individuals and their families are often wracked with feelings of fear, hopelessness, and devastation. We want to remind you that even though it hurts deeply, life is still worth living. Alzheimer’s doesn’t define who you are – the life you’ve lived and continue to live still matter.
To the caregivers who work tirelessly, we see you. We know that you’re scared, exhausted, and might even feel like you cannot go on. Yet, your love, patience, and dedication make a world of difference. You are not alone, and it is okay to seek support and care for yourself too.
Behind every person with Alzheimer’s is a life full of moments still worth celebrating. A diagnosis does not erase dignity, love, or hope. With understanding and support, living well with Alzheimer’s is possible.