Does High Functioning PTSD Exist?

However, some people who experienced trauma may seem like they’re doing just fine. That leads us to the question – does high functioning PTSD (HF-PTSD) exist? 

The answer is yes! While they could seem successful in many areas of their lives, those with HF-PTSD are not living at the optimal. In fact, they struggle internally and are coping through pain. Breakdowns or burnouts are likely to happen with a matter of time.  

Coping methods by those with HF-PTSD 

People with HF-PTSD are likely to cope by blocking out memories of their trauma. They avoid situations and people that remind them of their traumatic experiences. Doing so makes them look “perfectly okay”. While feeling constantly on-edge, they try to ignore the negatives. Instead, they work hard to excel at their work, relationships and other responsibilities. These distract them from the trauma and its effects.  

Healing the trauma 

While seemingly functioning well, living with HF-PTSD is not ideal. Without treatment, one could reach a breaking point. The following strategies can be used in the healing process.  

1. Talking to someone 

Having a listening ear that does not judge can help one feel supported throughout the healing process. It is useful to have an emotionally and physically safe space that gives us opportunities to express our emotions.  

2. Therapy 

Going to therapy is a good option for those with HF-PTSD. The therapist might use the following methods: 

a. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) 

During EMDR, the client is guided to recall the traumatic event they experienced. At the same time, they emphasize positive beliefs like “I had put in my best effort”. This helps the brain come to terms with their negative experiences.  

b. Exposure Therapy 

People with HF-PTSD frequently avoid people and places that remind them of trauma. Exposure therapy, like its name suggests, exposes the client to these reminders. They learn to cope with their feelings of anxiety.  

c. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) 

In CBT, unhealthy thoughts are identified and challenged to change behaviour. This helps the client makes sense of the traumatic event and deal with challenges in a more adaptive way.  

HF-PTSD is a real condition that you or people around you may be dealing with. While sharing the emotional burden with someone can be helpful, the best form of treatment is to seek guidance from mental health professionals.  

A Guide to Healing from Parentification

If you identify with any of the above, you might be a parentified child. 

What is Parentification? 

Parentification occurs when a child assumes the role of the parent. A parentified child is robbed of a carefree childhood and takes on hefty responsibilities that are inappropriate for their age. In adulthood, you might learn to only trust and rely on yourself, which hinders you from forming healthy relationships. 

Types of Parentification 

Ψ Instrumental Parentification

This is when a child takes on the physical and tangible duties of the parents. They might take care of their younger siblings, pay the bills or care for a loved one with a disability or an addiction.

Ψ Emotional Parentification

This is when a child provides emotional support for their parents. The parentified child might feel responsible in providing a listening ear or comfort and advice to their parents in times of distress. 

How to Heal from Parentification? 

Fortunately, it is possible to address the parentification trauma. Here are some tips to start embarking on your journey of recovering from parentification.  

Ψ Acknowledge your experience of being a parentified child.

Be open to speaking up about your trauma. Accept the reality of a loss childhood and the repercussions it may have in your adulthood. Allow yourself to feel and process the grief and anger. 

Ψ Explore your needs and prioritise them.

Reconnect with your inner child and explore these needs. You might need love, attention, or the freedom to play. You are now your own parent and have control over your needs. As a child, you might have missed out on activities that were meant for children. It might be difficult to put yourself first, but you can try with small steps. Start by spending time with friends, listening to music, meditating, or anything that makes you happy! 

Ψ Cultivate self-compassion.

As parentification is covert and insidious, it often goes unnoticed. This does not mean that your feelings are any less justified. Don’t be too critical of yourself; understand that it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you could have done better as an innocent child. Tell yourself “I am sorry for what you had to go through, and I love you”. 

Ψ Learn to establish healthy boundaries.

Growing up with parents who push your boundaries might impair your ability to establish healthy boundaries. To set boundaries, be clear and direct to avoid miscommunication. While being polite, don’t feel apologetic for wanting to meet your own needs; remember that self-care is not selfish. 

It takes time and patience to allow yourself to heal. Our childhood wounds do not define us, and you deserve to have your needs taken care of. If you need support, feel free to reach out to our team of psychologists.