Being called manipulative can feel painful and confusing. Before you take the label to heart, pause to reflect on what it means, where it came from and whether it may point to deeper patterns. Here are some gentle steps you can take to understand yourself with compassion.
Read moreManaging Conflicts in a Relationship
Regardless of whether it's a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a family setting, conflicts do happen, and it is normal.
Conflicts are a natural part of every relationship, yet they often leave us feeling unsettled, misunderstood, or emotionally drained. Whether it is with a partner, friend or family member, disagreements can strain even the strongest bonds when they are left unspoken or unresolved. The good news is that conflict does not have to be harmful. With the right approach, it can become an opportunity to understand each other better and build a healthier, more resilient relationship.
In this article, we explore simple, practical ways to navigate disagreements with care. From staying calm in heated moments to communicating early and listening with empathy, these strategies can help both parties feel heard and supported. If you are hoping to handle future conflicts with more clarity and confidence, this guide offers a gentle place to begin.
Read more6 Practical Tips for Everyday Emotional Care
Emotional wellbeing is the foundation of a healthy, well-balanced life.
Emotional wellbeing needs regular care, especially when life feels busy or overwhelming. These six practical tips can help you feel steadier, one small step at a time.
Read morePressure to Be Perfect: Managing Personal Work Expectations
Feeling like you're never doing enough at work? You're not alone.
When the pressure to perform perfectly becomes constant, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. This article explores five practical strategies to help you manage high personal expectations at work — from shifting your mindset to setting realistic goals and letting go of unhelpful comparisons. Learn how to stay productive without compromising your wellbeing.
Read moreHow to Communicate Better with Your Partner During Conflict
Arguments and tension are part of every relationship, but repeated conflict—especially during stressful times like fertility treatments—can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing.
According to the Gottman Method couples therapy, most conflicts are not meant to be resolved but managed with care and understanding. The key is learning how to talk about them in a way that keeps you connected. Here are some ways to improve communication and stay close, even when things feel tough.
Managing Resolvable Conflicts
1. Speak Kindly
Start gently, especially when bringing up a sensitive topic. Use “I” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage appointments alone” instead of “You never help”. This shift avoids blame and shows you want to work towards a solution. Make space for your partner’s perspective and try to keep your tone and body language calm. Even during emotional moments, a gentle approach helps your partner stay open rather than defensive.
2. Accepting Influence
Being open to your partner’s input shows mutual respect. That could look like saying “good point” when they raise something valid or finding a shared goal that matters to both of you. It’s not about giving in. It’s about listening, compromising, and recognising that no one gets everything in a relationship, but both can feel valued. Especially during high-stress times like a fertility journey, showing flexibility can make both of you feel more supported.
3. Repair and De‑escalation
When things get heated, pause to cool down. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or share a small laugh. The aim isn’t to avoid conflict, but to navigate it without burning out. Even something as simple as holding hands during an argument can reset the emotional tone.
4. Compromise
Compromise means finding a path forward that honours both your needs. Start by asking: What’s most important to me? What can I be flexible about? Look for shared goals, like wanting to feel emotionally close or making decisions as a team. Then work together toward a temporary or long-term solution.
Navigating Nonresolvable Issues
1. Establish Dialogue on Long-Term Problems
Some issues won’t go away and that’s okay. What matters is how you talk about them. Revisit ongoing challenges with kindness, curiosity, and patience. These aren’t one-time conversations, but ongoing opportunities for connection.
2. Increase Positive Interactions
Balance the tough moments with small positive ones. A quick hug, a shared smile, or a moment of empathy can go a long way. Aim for five positive interactions for every difficult one to keep the emotional connection strong.
3. Physiological Soothing
Arguments can take a toll on your body. Do calming things together like deep breathing, stretching, or just lying down beside each other without talking. These small resets help your nervous systems regulate so you’re not in fight-or-flight mode all the time.
4. Explore Underlying Dreams
Get curious about the deeper meaning behind disagreements. Ask: “What’s your ideal outcome here?” or “Is there something from your past that makes this especially important to you?” These questions help you connect with each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, understanding their struggles and why they choose to make certain decisions.
5. Foster Understanding and Acceptance
You won’t always agree and that’s okay. What matters is feeling seen and heard. Ask your partner, “Why is this so important to you?” and listen to their values or emotional history. This builds a bridge between your differences instead of turning them into barriers.
We’re In This Together
At the heart of every strong relationship is a shared commitment to understanding and growth. Communication during conflict isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about showing up for each other, even during times of frustration. It takes effort from both partners to listen openly, manage differences with care, and stay emotionally connected.
By practicing these skills together, you can build a relationship that weathers disputes and emerges stronger on the other side. However, if conflicts persist, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professional guidance can help mend the connection that once was.
This article was created in collaboration with LELO.
What to Text (and Not Text) When Someone Is Suicidal
Listening without judgment and validating their feelings are important.
We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal:
Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”
Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.”
Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”
It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans.
If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”
If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.”
Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!”
DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.
DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.
DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter.
A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping.
Should We Be Worried About “AI Psychosis” Today?
AI can help us work smarter, stay connected, and even feel less alone. But what happens when the comfort of AI starts to distort reality?
AI can be helpful, comforting, and convenient, but it can also become unhelpful when it starts reinforcing distorted beliefs or replacing real-world support. This page explains what people mean by “AI psychosis” (it is not a formal diagnosis), who may be more vulnerable, and the warning signs that suggest someone may be losing perspective. You will also find practical, compassionate steps to stay grounded, set healthier limits, and seek professional support early if needed.
Read moreKpods: Risks, Reasons and Support That Helps
You may have heard worrying things about Kpods, so why would someone take such a risk?
The truth is, the answer is rarely simple. While the headlines often highlight the dangers, it’s equally important to understand the human side: why people turn to Kpods, what risks they face, and how we can respond with care
If you are a parent concerned about your child, see our article: Kpods and Teens: A Practical Guide for Parents.
What Are Kpods?
Kpods are vape pods laced with ketamine, a dissociative drug sometimes used in hospitals as an anaesthetic. More recently, another drug, Etomidate, has also been found in some of these laced vapes. Etomidate is a powerful anaesthetic meant for use in hospitals under strict medical supervision. Outside of that controlled setting, its effects can be unpredictable and dangerous.
When used outside of medical supervision, the effects can be unpredictable and serious.
Side effects include:
Shaking or tremors
Slurred speech and confusion
Loss of balance and difficulty walking
Memory blackouts or detachment from reality
Damage to adrenal glands, intestines, and brain
Mental health risks: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, and psychosis
Even one-time use can be dangerous, and repeated use increases the likelihood of long-term physical and psychological harm.
Why Do People Use Kpods?
Despite the risks, people rarely use Kpods just to “get high.” Often, substance use is a response to emotional pain or unmet needs. There’s usually more going on beneath the surface.
Escaping pain or stress: Ketamine’s dissociative effect can feel like an escape from reality, while Etomidate’s sedative properties can temporarily numb emotional distress.
Fitting in with peers: Peer influence and the need to “fit in” can play a big role in experimentation, especially if the risks are downplayed.
Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.”
Chasing a stronger experience: Regular vape users may be drawn to the idea of “stronger hits,” unaware of the potent and dangerous drugs inside.
How to Support Someone Using Kpods
If someone you care about is using Kpods or laced vapes, your response matters. Fear or frustration is natural, but support works best when it is rooted in empathy, not shame. Focus on leading the conversation with empathy and curiosity.
What to avoid:
“Just stop it.”
“You’re destroying your life.”
“I’ll report you if you don’t quit.”
What to try instead:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about what you’ve been going through. It must have been hard on you.”
“I’m here to listen, not to judge.”
These gentle openings build trust. When someone feels seen and understood, they are more likely to feel safe enough to open up. That’s when real change can begin.
Encouraging Professional Help
Recovery is not a straight line. It is a journey with setbacks, detours, and gradual change. But with the right support, individuals can learn to manage better and overcome addiction.
If someone is open to it, encourage them to speak with a psychologist or addiction counsellor.
Therapy can help with:
Identifying emotional triggers
Learning healthy ways to cope
Rebuilding a sense of self-worth
Setting goals and creating structure
Reducing harm while working towards change
If it’s an emergency:
Call 995 or go
Where to get help:
NAMS Helpline: 6732 6837
National Mindline: 1771 (for personal support and guidance)
If the person is unconscious, hallucinating, or in immediate danger, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.
A Final Thought
If you or someone you love is caught up in Kpod use, please remember that recovery starts with choice, not shame. This is not about being a “bad person” or a “bad friend” or “bad parent.” It’s about facing a challenge that can feel overwhelming, and finding the right help to move forward. At our clinic, we believe in meeting people where they are, with compassion and understanding, and practical strategies for change. You’re not alone in this journey.
The Unspoken Stress of the Sandwich Generation
There’s a kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.
If you’re part of the sandwich generation, you know this well.
The sandwich generation carries a quiet, relentless weight — raising children while caring for ageing parents, juggling responsibilities that never seem to end. This article explores the unspoken guilt, fatigue and loneliness many experience, along with gentle, practical ways to reclaim rest, share the load and seek support. You are not failing; you are human, doing your best in circumstances few truly understand.
Read moreEye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)
EMDR is a type of therapy that supports people in healing from trauma or emotionally overwhelming experiences. Developed by psychologist Dr Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, it is now widely recognised for its effectiveness in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other challenges like anxiety, grief, and phobias.
Instead of talking through a memory in detail, EMDR focuses on helping your brain process it in a different way. During sessions, you’ll briefly bring a distressing memory to mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or sounds, which alternates between the left and right sides of the body. This process is thought to support the brain’s natural healing, reducing the emotional charge of the memory and making space for healthier beliefs.
How Does EMDR Work?
When we go through something overwhelming, our brain does not always process it properly. EMDR helps the brain finish that process. With the help of a trained therapist, you gently revisit the memory while using bilateral stimulation. This combination is believed to help rewire how the memory is stored, so it feels less distressing over time. Some researchers suggest that EMDR works in a similar way to REM sleep. That is the part of sleep where your brain naturally sorts through emotions and experiences. Over time, EMDR can reduce emotional distress, shift negative self-beliefs, and build emotional resilience.
Who is EMDR for?
EMDR is a great option for anyone who’s still feeling the emotional weight of something that’s happened, whether it was recent or years ago. If something is still affecting your daily life, mood or self-esteem, it might be worth exploring. EMDR is commonly used to support people with:
Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) (e.g., accidents, abuse, violence, natural disasters)
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Phobias
Depression
Grief and Loss
Low Self-esteem or Negative Self-beliefs
Chronic Stress or Burnout
Performance Anxiety (e.g., in work, sports, or the arts)
Attachment and Relationship Difficulties
A lot of people turn to EMDR when they have tried talk therapy but still feel stuck. It offers another way in, especially for experiences that feel hard to put into words.
What happens in an EMDR Session?
EMDR typically follows a structured process, but your therapist will go at a pace that feels right for you. Here’s a simple breakdown of what the journey could look like:
Phase 1: History-Taking
Your therapist will get to know your history, current concerns, and what you hope to achieve in therapy.
Phase 2: Preparation
In this phase, you’ll learn calming and grounding techniques to help manage any strong emotions that arise during the process.
Phase 3: Assessment
In phase 3, you will focus on a specific memory and identify a few key elements related to the memory:
A vivid image that represents the memory
A negative belief you hold about yourself in relation to it (e.g. “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”)
Any emotions or physical sensations that come up when you think about it
You will also choose a positive belief you'd like to adopt going forward, such as “I did the best I could” or “I’m safe now.”
Phase 4: Desensitisation and Reprocessing
While focusing on the memory, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping). This helps the brain process the memory and reduce its emotional intensity.
Phase 5: Installation
During this phase, your therapist will help you strengthen a positive belief related to the memory, supporting a more adaptive perspective.
Phase 6: Body Scan
You will be asked to notice how your body feels while thinking about the memory and the positive belief. This helps identify if any physical tension or discomfort remains, as the body can hold onto stress even after the memory feels less upsetting. If discomfort remains, further EMDR processing may be done to resolve it fully.
Phase 7: Closure and Stabilisation
Each session ends with techniques to help you feel calm and grounded. You’ll also prepare to manage any feelings that arise between sessions.
Phase 8: Re-evaluation
In the following sessions, your therapist will review your progress, revisit targets if needed, and help you plan the next steps.
So How Does EMDR Compare to Talk Therapy?
Now that we’ve explored how EMDR works, who it may benefit, and what a typical session could look like, you might be wondering how it compares to more traditional forms of therapy. While both EMDR and talk therapy aim to support emotional healing, they differ in how they approach distressing memories and the pathways they use to promote recovery. The following comparison highlights some of the key differences between the two.
Curious About EMDR?
Whether you're ready to start or just want to explore your options, we’re here to help. If there’s something in your past that still weighs on you, EMDR could be a powerful way to move forward. Feel free to get in touch with us to learn more or book a consultation.