The Depths of Codependency

While that seems like an over-exaggeration to some, the feelings and behaviours exhibited by someone who is codependent are very real. There’s some pervasive sense of responsibility, especially if someone is going through hardship, to the point where personal needs or self-identity just doesn’t matter.

Its Twisted Roots
The strongest root lies in our childhood familial environment. Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, are more likely to develop codependency.

Some examples:

Ψ      A family member with chronic addiction or illness. A child is parentified, and grew accustomed to constantly sacrificing freedom, or interests, to care for their family member. “They won’t suffer if I give them my allowance. I’ll be fine.”

Ψ      Abuse. A child believes they are unworthy of love or deserve the punishment. “I need to do more, to get the love or care I wish for.”

Ψ      Domineering or controlling parents. High expectations and harsh punishments. “As long as the expectations are met, I can get approval, affection. Or I won’t be punished. It doesn’t matter what I feel!”

Its Warning Signs

Ψ      Purpose and self-image is tied to relationships with others

Ψ      Self-expression is difficult – needs, opinions, emotions

Ψ      Fear of separation, or abandonment

Ψ      Others’ opinions or approval is a need, not a “good to
have”

Ψ      “Their needs are more important, mine aren’t”

Ψ      “I’m doing all this to take care of them, to rescue them”
(cue need to control)  

The Battle Shields Against Codependency

Ψ      Knowledge: Ignorance is not bliss – recognising the signs and identifying it bears the foundation for everything else.

Ψ      Check: Thoughts, feelings, behaviours about yourself, and your relationship with others – have we lost ourselves in the process of giving away too much?

Ψ      Craft the blueprint: Think - how do we support others without losing ourselves? How much can we give without losing everything? What can we protect or enhance? Negotiate, but clarify what our loved ones need as well – it’s collaborative.

Ψ      Build the shield: It’s not going to be perfect and full-proof, and the first few times will always be rusty. But over time, we upgrade or learn how to do it better. Find what works for us, practice, fail, and learn again!

Humans are interdependent creatures. We can’t survive alone, but we don’t have to live for others as well. We each have our own needs and wants. Although interdependency is like a scale that can never be fully balanced or level, at the very least, it’s not all the rocks on one side.

Can ChatGPT Replace a Psychologist?

With its sophisticated responses and continual technological advancement, ChatGPT 4 has surpassed many previous versions of AI chatbots, raising the question of whether it could one day replace human experts.  

It's tempting to take the easy way out and simply say that ChatGPT can never replace human experts – something that ChatGPT seems to agree with. But as any trained psychologist will tell you, the answer isn't always so simple.

It all depends on your unique needs and circumstances. There are many factors that come into play when deciding whether a chatbot is sufficient. So, before you make a decision, consider the pros and cons and evaluate what's best for you. 

This article isn't going to cover everything, but we're going to highlight some key circumstances where an AI chatbot might be a viable option for your mental health difficulties.  

Ψ You are not yet ready to seek in-person psychological services. 

ChatGPT can serve as an easy introduction to seeking a psychological service. You can use it as your first line of defense, to learn about your symptoms or practice coping strategies. You could say anything you would like to ChatGPT without fear of judgment or reproach. It acts as a safe (virtual) space. 

Ψ You want quick access to information and you don’t know where to look. 

ChatGPT is a convenient way to quickly obtain information about a mental health disorder or symptom. It is also an easy way to read up about the types of psychological therapeutic modalities such as CBT, DBT, Schema, or ACT.  

A basic description of each modality usually accompanies the write up, and you can ask ChatGPT for exercises or examples of how to incorporate an exercise in your daily life. 

Here is one useful description: 

"CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on changing negative patterns of thinking and behavior to improve mental health and well-being. CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, and that negative thoughts can contribute to negative emotions and behaviors.” 

If these strategies prove insufficient, you may then be more inclined to consider seeking help from a psychologist.

Ψ You cannot access psychological services. 

If you're struggling to access psychological services in your community, ChatGPT may be a platform you have to consider. For example, if you live in an area with limited psychological services, or if you have financial difficulties.

ChatGPT is affordable, convenient, stigma-free, and can be accessed anytime, anywhere, but it is essential to remember that ChatGPT is not a trained psychologist or counsellor and cannot replace one. 

Remember that there are many free and low-cost public and community resources available in Singapore. Here are some examples:  

• Community Psychology Hub

• Changi General Hospital

• Family Service Centres 

• Shan You Counselling

• Singapore Association for Mental Health

Yet… There are several circumstances when it is highly recommended you speak to a psychologist or any mental health professional instead of an AI chatbot. 

Ψ You have, or are experiencing, severe or complex mental health struggles. 

If you are experiencing a severe mental health crisis that poses a risk of harm to yourself or others, please seek immediate attention and intervention from a qualified professional.  

While ChatGPT can be a helpful resource for understanding symptoms of mental health concerns, it is not designed or equipped to handle such emergencies.  

On the other hand, mental health professionals go through years of rigorous training and supervision to be able to appropriately handle such situations. 

Ψ You find ChatGPT’s resources ineffective or insufficient. 

Complex or severe mental health conditions typically result in a significant impairment in the ability to function in daily life. Things like concentrating, being productive, socialising, can seem difficult. 

Comprehensive and often intensive therapeutic approaches may be required to effectively improve functioning. ChatGPT would not have the ability to provide such in-depth intervention. This is when connecting with a qualified mental health professional can provide you the necessary care and support.

Ψ You find ChatGPT impersonal. 

The resources offered by ChatGPT are likely to be broad-based and will not provide the level of depth and personalization that you might need to effectively implement strategies in your life. You may need more specific guidance and details that it cannot provide.  

Moreover, ChatGPT's understanding of the human condition, including context, morals, and spirituality, is limited to available data and research, which means it might not fully comprehend the unique needs and circumstances of each individual user.  

In contrast, a psychologist has focused training and understanding of how social and cultural values differ per person; how responsibilities can influence intervention strategies; how some individuals lack a supportive home environment to foster good mental health. A psychologist takes these diverse factors into account and designs a personalized therapy plan that caters to the individual's needs.

AI and language processing models are rapidly advancing, creating the potential for chatbots to "replace" or supplement certain microinterventions that do not require a lot of therapist contact or empathizing. While this is subject to legal, data, and privacy concerns, ChatGPT can be a useful resource for microinterventions such as goal-setting, progress tracking, and psychoeducation.

However, chatbots still struggle with understanding context, family background, trauma, biopsychosocial factors, and individual differences - essential factors that psychologists study for years to holistically assess mental health struggles from different perspectives. 

All in all, chatbots lack the human connection and understanding that many users desire. However, they present unique benefits in mental health education that should not be dismissed. Combining chatbots with traditional modalities can result in effective intervention. While clinical research is ongoing in adapting psychotherapy techniques into different modalities, psychologists have already started using digital platforms for psychotherapy. As technology continues to evolve, it will be fascinating to observe how chatbots can be further integrated into mental health care.