ANNABELLE PSYCHOLOGY
周泳伶临床心理诊所
clinical psychologists
A frightening disease and a painful reality for the one who is diagnosed and family who needs to care for them.
How do we know if someone’s behaviour is indicative of Alzheimer’s disease (a neurocognitive degenerative disorder)?
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Arguments and tension are part of every relationship, but repeated conflict—especially during stressful times like fertility treatments—can take a toll on your emotional wellbeing.
According to the Gottman Method couples therapy, most conflicts are not meant to be resolved but managed with care and understanding. The key is learning how to talk about them in a way that keeps you connected. Here are some ways to improve communication and stay close, even when things feel tough.
Start gently, especially when bringing up a sensitive topic. Use “I” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage appointments alone” instead of “You never help”. This shift avoids blame and shows you want to work towards a solution. Make space for your partner’s perspective and try to keep your tone and body language calm. Even during emotional moments, a gentle approach helps your partner stay open rather than defensive.
Being open to your partner’s input shows mutual respect. That could look like saying “good point” when they raise something valid or finding a shared goal that matters to both of you. It’s not about giving in. It’s about listening, compromising, and recognising that no one gets everything in a relationship, but both can feel valued. Especially during high-stress times like a fertility journey, showing flexibility can make both of you feel more supported.
When things get heated, pause to cool down. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or share a small laugh. The aim isn’t to avoid conflict, but to navigate it without burning out. Even something as simple as holding hands during an argument can reset the emotional tone.
Compromise means finding a path forward that honours both your needs. Start by asking: What’s most important to me? What can I be flexible about? Look for shared goals, like wanting to feel emotionally close or making decisions as a team. Then work together toward a temporary or long-term solution.
Some issues won’t go away and that’s okay. What matters is how you talk about them. Revisit ongoing challenges with kindness, curiosity, and patience. These aren’t one-time conversations, but ongoing opportunities for connection.
Balance the tough moments with small positive ones. A quick hug, a shared smile, or a moment of empathy can go a long way. Aim for five positive interactions for every difficult one to keep the emotional connection strong.
Arguments can take a toll on your body. Do calming things together like deep breathing, stretching, or just lying down beside each other without talking. These small resets help your nervous systems regulate so you’re not in fight-or-flight mode all the time.
Get curious about the deeper meaning behind disagreements. Ask: “What’s your ideal outcome here?” or “Is there something from your past that makes this especially important to you?” These questions help you connect with each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, understanding their struggles and why they choose to make certain decisions.
You won’t always agree and that’s okay. What matters is feeling seen and heard. Ask your partner, “Why is this so important to you?” and listen to their values or emotional history. This builds a bridge between your differences instead of turning them into barriers.
At the heart of every strong relationship is a shared commitment to understanding and growth. Communication during conflict isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about showing up for each other, even during times of frustration. It takes effort from both partners to listen openly, manage differences with care, and stay emotionally connected.
By practicing these skills together, you can build a relationship that weathers disputes and emerges stronger on the other side. However, if conflicts persist, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professional guidance can help mend the connection that once was.
This article was created in collaboration with LELO.
Listening without judgment and validating their feelings are important.
We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal:
Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”
Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.”
Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”
It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans.
If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”
If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.”
Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!”
DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.
DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.
DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter.
A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping.
AI can help us work smarter, stay connected, and even feel less alone. But what happens when the comfort of AI starts to distort reality?
AI can be helpful, comforting, and convenient, but it can also become unhelpful when it starts reinforcing distorted beliefs or replacing real-world support. This page explains what people mean by “AI psychosis” (it is not a formal diagnosis), who may be more vulnerable, and the warning signs that suggest someone may be losing perspective. You will also find practical, compassionate steps to stay grounded, set healthier limits, and seek professional support early if needed.
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You may have heard worrying things about Kpods, so why would someone take such a risk?
Understand Kpods, ketamine and etomidate laced vapes: risks, why people use them, warning signs and supportive ways to help, and when to seek help in Singapore.
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There’s a kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.
If you’re part of the sandwich generation, you know this well.
The sandwich generation carries a quiet, relentless weight — raising children while caring for ageing parents, juggling responsibilities that never seem to end. This article explores the unspoken guilt, fatigue and loneliness many experience, along with gentle, practical ways to reclaim rest, share the load and seek support. You are not failing; you are human, doing your best in circumstances few truly understand.
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EMDR is a type of therapy that supports people in healing from trauma or emotionally overwhelming experiences. Developed by psychologist Dr Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, it is now widely recognised for its effectiveness in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other challenges like anxiety, grief, and phobias.
Instead of talking through a memory in detail, EMDR focuses on helping your brain process it in a different way. During sessions, you’ll briefly bring a distressing memory to mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or sounds, which alternates between the left and right sides of the body. This process is thought to support the brain’s natural healing, reducing the emotional charge of the memory and making space for healthier beliefs.
When we go through something overwhelming, our brain does not always process it properly. EMDR helps the brain finish that process. With the help of a trained therapist, you gently revisit the memory while using bilateral stimulation. This combination is believed to help rewire how the memory is stored, so it feels less distressing over time. Some researchers suggest that EMDR works in a similar way to REM sleep. That is the part of sleep where your brain naturally sorts through emotions and experiences. Over time, EMDR can reduce emotional distress, shift negative self-beliefs, and build emotional resilience.
EMDR is a great option for anyone who’s still feeling the emotional weight of something that’s happened, whether it was recent or years ago. If something is still affecting your daily life, mood or self-esteem, it might be worth exploring. EMDR is commonly used to support people with:
Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) (e.g., accidents, abuse, violence, natural disasters)
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Phobias
Depression
Grief and Loss
Low Self-esteem or Negative Self-beliefs
Chronic Stress or Burnout
Performance Anxiety (e.g., in work, sports, or the arts)
Attachment and Relationship Difficulties
A lot of people turn to EMDR when they have tried talk therapy but still feel stuck. It offers another way in, especially for experiences that feel hard to put into words.
EMDR typically follows a structured process, but your therapist will go at a pace that feels right for you. Here’s a simple breakdown of what the journey could look like:
Your therapist will get to know your history, current concerns, and what you hope to achieve in therapy.
In this phase, you’ll learn calming and grounding techniques to help manage any strong emotions that arise during the process.
In phase 3, you will focus on a specific memory and identify a few key elements related to the memory:
A vivid image that represents the memory
A negative belief you hold about yourself in relation to it (e.g. “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”)
Any emotions or physical sensations that come up when you think about it
You will also choose a positive belief you'd like to adopt going forward, such as “I did the best I could” or “I’m safe now.”
While focusing on the memory, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping). This helps the brain process the memory and reduce its emotional intensity.
During this phase, your therapist will help you strengthen a positive belief related to the memory, supporting a more adaptive perspective.
You will be asked to notice how your body feels while thinking about the memory and the positive belief. This helps identify if any physical tension or discomfort remains, as the body can hold onto stress even after the memory feels less upsetting. If discomfort remains, further EMDR processing may be done to resolve it fully.
Each session ends with techniques to help you feel calm and grounded. You’ll also prepare to manage any feelings that arise between sessions.
In the following sessions, your therapist will review your progress, revisit targets if needed, and help you plan the next steps.
Now that we’ve explored how EMDR works, who it may benefit, and what a typical session could look like, you might be wondering how it compares to more traditional forms of therapy. While both EMDR and talk therapy aim to support emotional healing, they differ in how they approach distressing memories and the pathways they use to promote recovery. The following comparison highlights some of the key differences between the two.
Whether you're ready to start or just want to explore your options, we’re here to help. If there’s something in your past that still weighs on you, EMDR could be a powerful way to move forward. Feel free to get in touch with us to learn more or book a consultation.
Premenstrual Syndrome, also known as PMS, refers to a combination of symptoms that often occur before menstruation.
Due to lack of understanding, the public’s perception of PMS has become a stereotypical pool of negative connotations. Some misconceptions range from dismissing women’s feelings as irrational to viewing women as victims of their biology. These misconceptions have far-reaching impacts, affecting not just women individually, but society as a whole. Invalidating women's emotions and experiences may perpetuate existing gender stereotypes, downplaying women’s abilities.
Over time, women may feel like they have to struggle in silence, resulting in feelings of isolation and poor mental health. Additionally, these misconceptions could create biases in workplaces and hinder them from equal access to better opportunities. Today, we will tackle 3 myths of PMS and set the record straight!
Some women do not experience PMS symptoms at all. How PMS is experienced varies from each individual and symptoms can range from mild to debilitating. Just because an individual experiences some premenstrual symptoms does not mean she has PMS. PMS is only medically diagnosed when persistent and debilitating symptoms such as intense mood changes, severe cramps and difficulty concentrating have a significant negative impact on an individual’s life. High levels of stress, a family history of depression or vitamin deficiencies place individuals at a higher risk of experiencing PMS.
Experiencing mood swings or irritability is just one aspect of PMS. An individual experiencing PMS may encounter a combination of several different physical and emotional symptoms. Some of these symptoms include:
Physical symptoms
Headache or backache
Bloating or gassy feeling
Constipation or diarrhea
Tender breasts
Emotional symptoms
Feeling tired
Appetite changes or food cravings
Tension or anxiety
Depression or feelings of sadness
Did you know that changing levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone causes PMS? Fluctuations of these hormones have been shown to lead to changes in mood, causing feelings of irritability and anxiety. These fluctuations can also cause chemical changes in our brains. Furthermore, neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, crucial for regulating emotions and behaviors, face a decline during menstruation. These changes result in depressed or low moods and bring rise to sleep difficulties.
PMDD, also known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder, causes more extreme symptoms as compared to PMS. Individuals may experience symptoms such as cramps, palpitations, suicidal thoughts and sudden tearfulness. Symptoms of PMDD can be debilitating and make daily activities hard. If you suspect your loved one is facing PMDD, it is crucial you guide them to a mental health professional.
More than 90% of women have reported experiencing at least one PMS symptom in their life. Hence, it is important for all of us to have a more accurate understanding of PMS. If you or your loved one is struggling with overwhelming PMS symptoms, do not hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can help you find ways to better manage it.
If you are struggling with your mental health, you are definitely not alone.
Recovering from mental health challenges can feel overwhelming, especially when you are trying to manage everything on your own. Yet one of the strongest predictors of resilience is not willpower, but support. Meaningful connections, whether from family, friends, colleagues or community groups, can provide comfort, perspective and a sense of belonging during difficult periods.
This article explores why social support matters, the different forms it can take, and how you can build a support network that truly nurtures your well-being. You do not have to face recovery alone, and understanding the role of support is an important first step.
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If you’ve ever reflected on your childhood, how would you describe it to a stranger? Was it characteristically tragic, painful, lonely, or terrifying in your experience?
You might even be aware that you’ve experienced childhood trauma - but do you really know how it might be affecting you today?
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