Living Well with Alzheimer’s: Compassion, Care and Understanding

Alzheimer’s Disease, as often portrayed in books and shows, usually begins with subtle memory lapses, increased confusion, and changes in mood and personality. As the disease progresses, disorientation and fear can grow. The loss of precious memories — the ones that stitch our lives together, shape who we are, and connect us to those we love — is a painful reality for those living with Alzheimer’s. They must confront this reality daily, and perhaps the most heart-wrenching question is:

What if one day, I can no longer remember the face of someone I love?

It’s a frightening disease. It affects memory, thinking, behaviour, and the ability to carry out everyday tasks. Though often used interchangeably with ‘dementia,’ Alzheimer’s is specifically a progressive brain disorder that gradually makes independent daily life more challenging. Understanding what Alzheimer’s is helps us recognise why these early changes in memory, thinking, and behaviour are so important to notice.

Recognising the Signs

Alzheimer’s usually creeps in quietly, so the early signs can be easy to miss. Some things to look out for include: 

• Forgetting recent conversations or events 

• Struggling with everyday planning or problem-solving 

• Feeling confused even in familiar places 

• Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps 

• Withdrawing from social activities 

• Changes in mood and personality 

If you notice these signs in yourself or a loved one, don’t brush them aside. Early recognition not only opens the door to timely care, but it also helps families prepare and adjust with understanding. 

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Where to Begin 

Noticing the early signs is just the first step. Visiting a polyclinic or GP for an initial assessment can help ease some of the confusion, constant guessing, and worry that often come with uncertainty. From there, you can begin receiving guidance, support, and answers. You don’t have to navigate this alone.  

Support often comes from a multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals, including doctors, psychologists, occupational therapists, and social workers. The type of support may change over time, but the goal remains the same: to ensure that every step of the journey is guided with understanding, compassion, and care.

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The Role of a Psychologist

As psychologists, we’re here to walk alongside you and your loved ones at every stage of Alzheimer’s. We help you make sense of memory changes and cognitive challenges. We also support assessment and diagnosis, so you can better understand what is happening. 

As the disease progresses, we offer psychological support, practical strategies to manage daily challenges, and guidance for caregivers on how to maintain emotional connection and understanding. We want to help you and your loved ones feel supported, empowered, and able to focus on meaningful moments together. 

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Simple Steps for Daily Life

Small, simple strategies can make a big difference for both those living with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. Some ideas include: 

• Keep a consistent routine. Simple schedules help reduce confusion and give the individual a sense of security and grounding.  

• Label and organise spaces. Clear labels on doors, drawers, or cupboards make it easier to find things and maintain independence. 

• Use memory tools. Calendars, notebooks, and phone reminders can support memory and help track appointments or daily tasks. 

• Break tasks into small steps. Doing things step by step, rather than all at once, can make activities more manageable and less frustrating. 

These little steps can help maintain independence, ease stress, and create space for meaningful moments of connection and joy.  

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Life Beyond the Diagnosis

We know that the diagnosis can feel like the end. It’s a difficult reality to confront – individuals and their families are often wracked with feelings of fear, hopelessness, and devastation. We want to remind you that even though it hurts deeply, life is still worth living. Alzheimer’s doesn’t define who you are – the life you’ve lived and continue to live still matter.  

To the caregivers who work tirelessly, we see you. We know that you’re scared, exhausted, and might even feel like you cannot go on. Yet, your love, patience, and dedication make a world of difference. You are not alone, and it is okay to seek support and care for yourself too.  

Behind every person with Alzheimer’s is a life full of moments still worth celebrating. A diagnosis does not erase dignity, love, or hope. With understanding and support, living well with Alzheimer’s is possible. 

How to Communicate Better with Your Partner During Conflict

According to the Gottman Method couples therapy, most conflicts are not meant to be resolved but managed with care and understanding. The key is learning how to talk about them in a way that keeps you connected. Here are some ways to improve communication and stay close, even when things feel tough. 

Managing Resolvable Conflicts 

1. Speak Kindly  

Start gently, especially when bringing up a sensitive topic. Use “I” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage appointments alone” instead of “You never help”. This shift avoids blame and shows you want to work towards a solution. Make space for your partner’s perspective and try to keep your tone and body language calm. Even during emotional moments, a gentle approach helps your partner stay open rather than defensive. 

2. Accepting Influence 

Being open to your partner’s input shows mutual respect. That could look like saying “good point” when they raise something valid or finding a shared goal that matters to both of you. It’s not about giving in. It’s about listening, compromising, and recognising that no one gets everything in a relationship, but both can feel valued. Especially during high-stress times like a fertility journey, showing flexibility can make both of you feel more supported. 

3. Repair and De‑escalation 

When things get heated, pause to cool down. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or share a small laugh. The aim isn’t to avoid conflict, but to navigate it without burning out. Even something as simple as holding hands during an argument can reset the emotional tone. 

4. Compromise 

Compromise means finding a path forward that honours both your needs. Start by asking: What’s most important to me? What can I be flexible about? Look for shared goals, like wanting to feel emotionally close or making decisions as a team. Then work together toward a temporary or long-term solution. 

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Navigating Nonresolvable Issues 

1. Establish Dialogue on Long-Term Problems 

Some issues won’t go away and that’s okay. What matters is how you talk about them. Revisit ongoing challenges with kindness, curiosity, and patience. These aren’t one-time conversations, but ongoing opportunities for connection. 

2. Increase Positive Interactions 

Balance the tough moments with small positive ones. A quick hug, a shared smile, or a moment of empathy can go a long way. Aim for five positive interactions for every difficult one to keep the emotional connection strong. 

3. Physiological Soothing 

Arguments can take a toll on your body. Do calming things together like deep breathing, stretching, or just lying down beside each other without talking. These small resets help your nervous systems regulate so you’re not in fight-or-flight mode all the time. 

4. Explore Underlying Dreams 

Get curious about the deeper meaning behind disagreements. Ask: “What’s your ideal outcome here?” or “Is there something from your past that makes this especially important to you?” These questions help you connect with each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, understanding their struggles and why they choose to make certain decisions.  

5. Foster Understanding and Acceptance 

You won’t always agree and that’s okay. What matters is feeling seen and heard. Ask your partner, “Why is this so important to you?” and listen to their values or emotional history. This builds a bridge between your differences instead of turning them into barriers. 

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We’re In This Together

At the heart of every strong relationship is a shared commitment to understanding and growth. Communication during conflict isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about showing up for each other, even during times of frustration. It takes effort from both partners to listen openly, manage differences with care, and stay emotionally connected.

By practicing these skills together, you can build a relationship that weathers disputes and emerges stronger on the other side. However, if conflicts persist, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professional guidance can help mend the connection that once was.

This article was created in collaboration with LELO.

What to Text (and Not Text) When Someone Is Suicidal

We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal: 

1. Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”  

2. Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.” 

3. Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”

4. It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans. 

5. If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”

6. If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.” 

7. Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!” 

8. DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.  

9. DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.  

10. DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter. 

A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping.